Episode 77 - Mastering Resilience: The Power of Grit, Gratitude, and Growth with Scott McGee

Episode Summary:

In this episode of Maxed Out Man, Kevin Davis sits down with Scott McGee, a dedicated family man, law enforcement officer, coach, and podcaster. They dive into the philosophy of living with grit and resilience, drawing from Scott's life experiences, including his journey through sports, law enforcement, and personal challenges. Scott introduces the Finnish concept of "Sisu," which embodies grit, determination, and an unconquerable spirit. They discuss the importance of gratitude, self-awareness, and the constant pursuit of growth, both mentally and physically. Scott also shares powerful stories from his life, including a deeply personal account of his son's health challenges, which highlight the profound impact of resilience and love.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Concept of Sisu: Understanding the Finnish word "Sisu" and its meaning of grit, perseverance, and an unconquerable spirit in the face of adversity.
2. The Power of Gratitude: The importance of daily gratitude practices in fostering a positive mindset and resilience.
3. Mindful Warrior Mindset: How adopting a mindset of growth, accountability, and self-awareness can help overcome life's challenges.
4. Embracing Vulnerability: The strength found in vulnerability and the courage to be true to oneself.
5. Resilience Through Adversity: Personal stories from Scott's life, including his son's health battles, exemplifying the power of resilience and love in overcoming obstacles.

To learn more about Maxed Out Man and to maximize your potential, visit www.maxedoutman.com or connect with us on Social Media:

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Transcript

0:00
and so if you're living in so much excitement for life now it doesn't matter or like what you're doing then
0:06
that is you're you're a lucky individual welcome to maxed out man
0:13
helping you become the man you were made to be hey guys this Kevin Davis from the
0:19
max out man podcast I'm going to be here with uh Scott McGee which uh I'm super excited about it's a new conversation
0:26
for us and uh really kind of a a new type of guest for us I've never had law enforcement on here so I'm super excited
0:32
about that um so I'll give his intro in just a second before I forget make sure you go to max out man.com go to Max
0:38
outman podcast.com you can listen to all the podcast episodes really appreciate if you would rate and review uh that
0:45
helps us kind of grow this podcast and reach more people uh we also have at maxed out man.com some courses uh D for
0:52
you stuff coaching all sorts of things and I do want to mention uh and I have been mentioning this the last few podcast episodes but we're thinking
0:58
about doing a an event in Costa Rica um honestly at this point we don't have a lot of plans around it uh no definitive
1:05
dates sometime in the fall maybe uh but if you're interested in that shoot me an email ktie MaxOut man.com so hey let me
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give Scott's um bio here a little bit of a blurb Scott a dedicated Family Man and
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committed law enforcement officer who brings the same passion to his roles as coach and podcaster uh as a wellness
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coach he empowers others to live healthier more balanced lives uh Scott is a mindful Warrior I want to talk
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about about what that means uh on a path of gratitude and service continually striving to make a positive ripple
1:36
effect in his community um dude I'm so excited to have you on here my my
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youngest daughter is a paramedic so and then and then I have a my daughter-in-law is in is in the Army and
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so like this whole first responder military thing like I have a real heart for that and so I'm super excited to
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have have you on and and share your story uh not only from the law enforcement side but taking into
2:00
coaching and wellness and and all that so thanks for coming hey it's my honor brother hey well you so I gave kind of
2:07
your blur but what I like to ask for is just if you give us the background of kind of who you are how you got where
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you are and honestly we got time so take as long as you want go as in-depth as you want um but that way we can lay the
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foundation for everything that you're doing right now well thank you uh first of all every time I have to like write
2:27
something or listen to a bio or anything it always makes uncomfortable uh part of the reason is I
2:34
I always feel that we are so much more than our resumés resumes aren't necessarily don't tell the correct
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picture uh I think really what we are what we've overcome not necessarily defined by all
2:47
the successes that and it's almost like a like a like an Instagram feed of your
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life where just showing a bunch of awesome stuff it's not really showing the real right um
3:00
however uh I feel very lucky man I I've had I've had tremendous amount of opportunities presented um throughout my
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life I I grew up in in Santa Monica or was in you know the west side of La uh
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had a little sister family parents married that's you know
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I'm sure uh they stayed together and that's part of um defining who I am uh
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my dad was involved in sports and coaching which laid some foundations for me mom was involved in schools and clubs
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and helped me with with homework so right away I had I didn't realize it at
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the time but now as a parent I really understand the importance of that foundation and and not only that not
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only just the foundation but the unspoken stuff of being the role model
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and and how how they presented themselves and how that's impacted how I am raising their
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grandchildren and so I take that into account a lot now in like in how I'm living and how I treat my kids and the
4:05
kids that I coach and I'm demonstrating to them how to be a coach and a parent
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and I'm grateful for the foundation I had so much love to my parents um and
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then man Sports in school growing up in clubs and then of course you have the ups and downs in life um I went to
4:24
college played Sports there there was a moment in time in college and this is another little
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pivotal moment and I'm sure a lot of people have gone through this but we tend to have or at least I did um attach
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ourselves to certain identities and for me it was um I played football in college and that was a big
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identity for me is who I I'm I play football on weekends and I practice and
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then I sometimes go to school so that part was great I mean that I
4:57
mean playing sports is obviously I'm a huge F of and what it does to for a person uh but there was a point in time
5:04
where I blew out my hamstring really bad couldn't use my leg I had to take a year off and went through some depression at
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that time I got really good at drinking uh the Miller the champagne of beers
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Miller High Life because the liquor sore down the street was cheap um it went and
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started gaining some weight I lived with football players and was during the season so they were gone
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and the what isn't really the the important part it was just a cracking identity and then if I wasn't doing that
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thing then really who I was like who am I and so I went through some depression
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uh and then eventually my dad ended up giving me a
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book by Pat cochi and if you don't know who he is he's a it's like a Rags of
5:54
riches kind of guy that eventually uh started his own Physical Therapy practice made a bunch of money ended up
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buying a basketball team just a self-made self-driven no excuses I'm
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going to make my own reality kind of guy and that kind of kicked me in the butt I joined
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a basically AA meeting for injured athletes really interesting yeah that's
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a and I mean more on that maybe will'll come up later and then
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um you know I came to a certain point in time and I don't know if to me it's like
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a point where every like people grow up and not everyone goes through this
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process but it hit me that like my predicament and where I was I was not a
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victim and for a long time before that I was acting like a victim like it was the physical trainer's fault or they didn't
6:47
prepare me right or whatever it was and then I had this whole process that I
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went through um and learned that everything in my reality is up to me and
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that completely empowered me put the power back in my hands and I started realizing
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that I started paying attention to nutrition for the first time to hydration for the first time paying attention to sleep and all kinds of
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decisions that I was making on The Daily and in the process of like is this going to move me closer or farther away from
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my goals so taking that kind of ownership of my life to me is like probably the
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one of one of the biggest moments that I I of of growth and I say that growing up
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because I started really diving into accountability and responsibility and and that kind of stuff and then um you
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know I obviously I get came back it was a great opportunity to come back fitter and stronger and faster than I ever was
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and um you know since then hasn't changed hasn't like I refuse to be and
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so the mindful Warrior part kind of comes into that play of of refusing to be a victim and knowing that everything
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in that happens I have some say so in it and if I don't then I have a say so on how I choose to react to
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it and so you you bounce around through life and you have opportunities to uh
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feel bad for yourself or complain or anything like that but that's where all that mindful Warrior stuff comes in
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because within those moments the biggest battle is in between your ears yeah right and was that a is was was that a
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one-time kind of Life split right there whenever I assume you're what like early
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20s at that point and or have you continued to have those little
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diversions over time I'm 51 so I find over over my life I can point to
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different kind of forks in the road and they're not always like major like all right here's where I started and now
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here's here's where I am but have you found that over time kind of doing the same thing as you continue to grow or
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was it like all right well I'm this guy and this is my identity and now I'm going to shift to this identity and move
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move forward um it's those moments that's what I was talking about like the we all
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it's not the resume it's those moments in time right that's what really defines us and for me there's been a whole bunch
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of them um I mean really we really went back down a little bit further I remember
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there specific moment in fifth grade where I decided that I was no longer going to have my mom help me with my
9:23
homework that was it I was like no I'm I hit me I'm going to do my own homework I
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remember it's weird it's a weird memory that is yeah it is a weird memory but at that point in time that was it like I
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studied myself I had paid attention to the instructions and I did it myself it
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wasn't it was just a decision so that Moment Like This Moment in college um and there's been more but
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the thing is I always feel like we're constantly growing like none of I mean maybe some
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people are same as they were 10 years ago 15 years ago but con L growing and
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evolving and and then evaluating what your most important role in your life is you know 15 years ago I
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was not a dad and so my life now is is in how I
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wanted to be one it's a different story like always picturing what I have now um but constantly growing you know
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like like water water can move into ice you know it can be a wave it can be a
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calm River and and just always adjusting um I think there is some benefit to
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having that type of philosophy because if you're rigid in your within
10:37
your expectations of life or within yourself you can cause some dissonance and that dissonance can create some can
10:43
create some internal suffering yeah and it almost seems like there's this there there's almost two
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paths there's either rigidity or what and I don't know if laziness is the right word but it's com maybe
10:57
complacency right like especially I I see and one of the reasons why I really wanted to lean into maxed out man for
11:04
men my age and also we're we're kind of transitioning and adding more of the younger guys too um but like if you're
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in your 40s and 50s and nothing has really changed in your life for the last
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you know to use your ter timeline 15 years there there's a complacency
11:22
involved you know you're gaining an extra couple of pounds a year you're more stressed than ever your
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relationships aren't improving those kind of things and it seems like that those two sides of that coin kind of
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kind of act um almost they it seems like I meet both types you know yeah but
11:41
there's also like if there's a component of of I don't want to say not
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quitting you talk about complacency and just because you're 40
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or 50 or 80 uh in my opinion you shouldn't stop having like moments of
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awe yeah 100% and the moments of awe like for for kids everything is amazing to them and
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they're constantly learning they're getting new H habits new new hobbies they're doing different sports trying to
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play music instruments they're constantly learning and to me there's really like no reason for whatever your
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age is in fact it's probably more important for us as we get older to continue that type of
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living yeah neuroplasticity and all that stuff right yeah yes yeah continue to
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study pick pick a topic and go read about it uh especially with YouTube you can you can pick up a a ukulele and
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start teaching yourself how to play a few instruments there's all kinds of things and then all all kinds of like moments
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of awe to create that makes your life a little bit more full and at the at the same time there's a really collateral
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benefit there because you are starting to regulate your emotions by stabilizing your
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attention that's another you stabilize your attention it helps you regulate your emotions it doesn't matter what the
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thing is like just go go go go to the store and get a canvas for 15 bucks and
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do a painting yeah you know push yourself so I I love it and that's
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physically mentally spiritually everything together I you know I've had one of my early episodes with a guy
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named Fred neth and he's 92 years old um he's my he's my neighbor Pastor for 40
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years but he's like I know that uh Winter's coming because he he has a
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truck of logs delivered to the house like you know the the they're like 40 foot logs and his deal is he goes and
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uses a a tank of gas um every day on his chainsaw that's how he cuts those up and
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he splits them and all that stuff and and so that's that physical activity but he also reads you know in in his case
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it's reading his Bible or other spiritual books um every single day and
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so I look at him and then I have other people in their 60s or 70s that
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literally like are you just at this point waiting to die like I I ju I I can
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never wrap my mind around just that sitting and not wanting to learn new
14:10
things or not wanting to do more things or stay active or whatever and it's you know I don't know if it's a lack of
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empathy for that or just not fully understanding well probably a little bit
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of both obviously you have to because like whatever the Habit is it will
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snowball mhm so if someone has a job they work really hard for a long time and next
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thing you know they they're always looking towards the end of like towards
14:39
retirement they want to do nothing and then you start doing nothing and then what ends up happening like you just
14:45
that becomes your habit yeah there's also I don't know if we're I don't know
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if a lot of people are even aware of the the actual like blood chemistry and the Brain changes and what happens in these
14:58
type of habits MH you know you have to have self- awareness so that you can self-regulate
15:04
yourself yeah so I mean to but to go back to the point of like all these little life events and these growth
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opportunities uh even how even how like I behave or how I react to it I always
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think of like it's kind of hard to I'll try and explain but I can show you like let's just say here here's the path
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right the perfect path of the like mind Warrior or like the the maxed out man
15:31
you know here it is but that staying on this path is not a reality no it's not and that's another
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thing that we have to have an agreement with ourselves over you have to understand that this is the expectation but it's not the reality and so you can
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travel and maybe on like this is the path you know you're kind of like I'm on it oh I'm off and it's a big turn oh I'm
15:53
on it but I'm off in this kind of style but over time with constant work and
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medication to it and understanding that reality is what it is you start to kind
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of turns are a little shorter and understanding that to me is
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is comes down to like the personal responsibility accepting what is in your
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control and what is not and understanding that the further like your own expectations is what causes the
16:24
suffering and the further your expectations are from reality
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there's a more opportunity for there to be some type of suffering yeah and it doesn't have to be that way
16:36
that's part of it like I see a lot a lot of people struggling and it's usually them versus them not what the actual
16:42
opportunity they have or they're viewing or they're focusing on the pain and they continue to suffer instead of focusing
16:49
on the lessons so you can continue to grow and those are those are two different paths as well yeah because it's all where your
16:56
focus is 100% And I like that metaphor when you're when you're talking about the the path that you're on right it
17:02
makes me think of I grew up in Oklahoma you know boating all of that stuff and it was funny because like and this is a
17:09
totally weird example but I was actually sitting in our swimming pool yesterday in a little raft and I'm thinking about
17:16
some different things but then I I literally just gently pushed off the wall the pool and I just move right like
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it it just it the it was it's and it was a weird thing to strike me but I was like it struck me that it takes so
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little effort to make such a big change and I think ships and boats are the same
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way very minor Corrections along those path you know can take you in a in a
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huge Direction one way or the other or constantly making small Corrections keeps you going in a straight
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line and that little push is is can also be a a decision right yeah not it's how
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you decide to to make a change or decide to view something or or sometimes decide not to do
18:04
something yeah one of my business coaches calls that an Integrity issue so he talks about the Integrity that you
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have with yourself which is like am I going to work out today you know what how you know what kind of relationships
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am I going to have today how I'm going to serve my family and community and all of those things but he talks about in
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terms of commun of an Integrity issue basically Integrity with ourselves
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yep that's that's the biggest challenge right doing what you say you're going to
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do right yeah but there's but there's that like what is you
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because we all have and the a negative thought bias on how we look at things and that's just a normal human reaction
18:48
but we also have that internal dialogue and call it the Angel and the devil or whatever you want to call it you always
18:54
have the the little L just call it the devil that's always Whispering into your
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thoughts and he's so clever and charismatic rationalizes everything like
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no you know you worked out hard yesterday you deserve a rest day or oh oh it's just one day it's okay like you
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deserve to have to go I don't know whatever that little voice is always happening always always happening yeah
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hey I want to ask you so one of the things that and you know I'm interested in your law enforcement career too but I
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want to talk about this SE um ideology I don't know what whether it's a methodology ideology practice
19:35
however you describe that but can you just tell I've until we were introduced I never heard of it so which so I'm
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going to assume that most most people have it that are listening to this so if you can explain that I'd love to hear more about it yeah the word it's
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actually it's a Finnish word c s i s Su C Su uh and it's a it would probably
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take two pages of notes to actually explain in
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English fascinating word it's been one of my favorite words for like a long time and the closest word that I can
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think of in English to it is probably grip we might not know for example like
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Rocky had cisu you know it's like strength and determination in the face of adversity
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it's it's perseverance it's having an unconquerable Soul it's it's that type
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of desire to no matter what to withstand and so to have that type of
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and um the desire to fight and I and I say that also um is I want to highlight that
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desire to fight doesn't necessarily mean always taking up arms it also is is
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having the strength and wisdom to know when not to and so having that type of that type
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of path or that way um it it's it's been
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a big part of my life for a long time highlighted
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um you know point in time in my life where my dad was going through
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cancer um and there's like this whole idea of like when you're faced with a life or
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death situation in cancer like and and choosing to fight that or is is
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something that um you know there's a part of a human character
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me rephrase because I'll get to the cancer part part of the human character that I always like love to see and it's
21:37
that Triumph of the human spirit and there are certain moments that you we've all seen
21:43
it and you see it when people are struggling to finish a marathon you see it in when people are fighting through
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uh an actual fight let's say or they're in an Olympic event or it's a sport
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whatever it is sports highlights it because it it makes gives a cute example of it but you also see it and my point
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being you see it in people facing cancer you see it in people um you know in
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battles um doesn't matter what it is when someone's facing some insurmountable challenge the human
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Spirit shines there and so I wanted to capture something along those lines when
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I started developing like this little you know I don't want to call it philosophy
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but you know the Instagram account I had a podcast going on it and to highlight
22:32
and bring that out in people and then talk to people and and it's in those moments where people have shown cisu
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that are these moments that we're talking about and that's what really defines somebody and creates the person
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you see as you go and you talk to people and generally speaking the people have been through a lot of those really hardships and and let their Spirit shine
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usually are the most compassionate and empathetic and strong people because they've been they've been broken strong
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you they've been broken down it cracks and now that's how the light shines through so that kind of stuff and then
23:06
like the the little moments where um when my wife
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was pregnant with my second son there was um you know those tests
23:18
you get when you go you know pregnant and you go get those those blood tests and they're like ah you
23:24
know we're not going to call you back you know but if we if we find something we
23:29
you know normally no one gets those calls but we did and had to go into the
23:34
doctor's office and at like 20 weeks uh the kid had high
23:42
drop so his heart was enlarged like two-thirds the size of his chest he was anemic uh he has his head swelling
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there's tons of fluid in between the scalp in the skull um and we had to do all these testing
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and bottom line we had come to a decision whether we were going
24:03
to essentially abort or to go down a path of trying to keep him alive and
24:11
then thinking about the consequences of that so we were told that there is an opportunity to do every two of three
24:19
weeks an intrauterine blood transfusion wow and
24:25
that that would so the way that looks like is they take is it's like a surgery but it's it's not the cutting people but
24:31
the syringe or the needle goes through the abdomen into the womb into a vein in
24:38
the umbilical cord and that's how they do a blood transfusion so and if we did that they
24:46
would do a blood transfusion um the reason being like there was something in
24:51
his blood that my wife's immune system had antibodies for so her anti her
24:57
immune system was attacking his ability to create red blood cells so we had to
25:02
keep putting different blood in to be able to keep him alive and if we did that there was a strong possibility of
25:08
some type of like uh mental disorder DEA blind like all of that list
25:15
that you're like oh my gosh please like but we decided to obviously um
25:22
fight through it with the first time we go in there you know she got taken back
25:29
and you know hour or two later the do I'm in the waiting room the doctor's walking towards me and he's got like
25:35
nine people with him like I'm uh like like this is for support or like they're
25:42
here to protect the doctor in case yeah I'm like okay like yeah that
25:48
yeah there's a lot that could go through your head when you see that scene I'm sure yeah so and so they come out and
25:54
the first thing they say hey your son's alive but we couldn't do the entire blood transfusion because his his
26:00
hemoglobin level was at a two and for some people out listening they might know what that means but basically his
26:06
blood was like water and prior to us even going there my wife had thought he was already dead
26:12
she really just wanted to get there to get the ultrasound to see if he had a heartbeat but and the reason he was like
26:18
that turns out is because his his blood was so incredibly thin that he was probably a couple hours away from dying
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by the time we had this done wow so they can only do half of it
26:31
so that car ride home like we didn't really talk you know you staring out the window like feels
26:37
like you're underwater we get home we're feeling really bad we're like like it's not going to work we're scared
26:45
and TV's on but we're not watching it we're like just staring at the wall and then next thing you know she
26:51
like reaches over and grabs my arm and brings it over under it stomach and then
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I felt like it felt like to me like leonitis doing like this is Sparta kick boom and kicks
27:04
my hand and that was the first time I'd ever felt him move so at that point in time it like again here we go it lit me
27:11
up I'm like that's it we're gonna make it we're gonna fight and he's GNA make it he's got a strong will and that was
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like the first time he had taught me a lesson in like not giving up and like got me fired up and fired up that cesu
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in me and so that's a a little tiny moment with him that brought out like
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the whole cisu idea and when I first made the cisu way poster I had it up for
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him to see and for me during that process for me to see every time I I walked out my door to help me
27:46
recalibrate into not being a victim into fighting into to triumphing and not
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giving up and having that type of that fortitude and that character and that grit and that perseverance
27:58
it's a fascinating word so I mean there's a whole like a whole rabbit hole
28:03
if anyone wants to go down and read about it yeah I man that's a lot and what's what's funny and and I
28:11
want I want I have so many questions but I was going to ask before you told
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the story and I had never heard that story was do you believe that cisu is something that is taught or ingrained
28:24
and I'll use I'll use cancer as an example or any major ill right so we all
28:29
know people that that happens to and they're like they're bound to determined to fight it now that doesn't necessarily
28:36
mean that the outcome will be the one that they that we all want right which is healing and getting things back on
28:43
track and remission and all those but then we also know people that are just like for whatever reason they've already
28:51
allowed it to win regard like they don't even consider the fight and so your
28:58
example of your son would lead me to believe that in some people for whatever
29:03
reason that it's a it's almost like an innate trait or the other side of that
29:10
question is are we all born with it but then somewhere along the line we we lose
29:17
it well for me to say that you're born with
29:22
it and you can't be taught I it almost fires me up and gives me like little
29:27
pisses off a little bit because then it says it's implying that it's not up to me yeah right so I'm like oh it's up to
29:34
me like however I don't think it's a clean line because you can say like some people are just naturally physically
29:40
strong without working out and then some people have to train hard and do work to
29:45
get strong doesn't mean so which one's strong you know
29:52
um so so there's also the opportunities that come up not everyone goes through
29:58
struggle is the same as other people you know I've been super blessed to be able to feed into the lives of tons of men
30:04
from all around the world and all walks of life and I'm very excited to announce that I do have a couple spots available
30:10
right now if you're interested in working with me and we can talk about pretty much anything marriage business
30:16
fitness parenting being a dad uh dogs cars whatever you want to talk about I'm
30:22
available to do that we want to focus on the things that may be most beneficial to you and some that you may not even
30:28
know would be beneficial to you you've listened to the podcast you kind of know my style if you are interested in
30:34
working with me I want to try to make it as simple as possible but I also want to make sure we're a good fit send an email
30:40
to coaching MaxOut man.com and just give me two pieces of information why you
30:45
would like to work with me and what that might mean for you what things you would hope to accomplish by meeting with me
30:52
that'll kick off the process I'll reach back out to you we can jump on a call and see whether or not it would be a good fit so go to MaxOut man.com
30:59
coaching MaxOut man.com send me an email uh with those two pieces of information
31:04
and we'll see if it's a good fit and I hope it is and I hope that we can actually
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connect
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and so if you're living in so much excitement for life now it doesn't matter what or like what you're doing
40:10
then that is you're you're a lucky individual yeah and isn't it weird how
40:15
we we all are so sure that there is that future right and and it's probably the
40:22
least sure thing especially in a in a job like you gu you have which is you know highly dangerous and and you know
40:29
obviously there's training but that's a very dangerous occupation um but I heard someone describe that light at the end
40:35
of the tunnel is sometimes a train so you gotta be careful you gotta be careful gota be careful what you wish
40:41
for yeah in that case yes yeah and that's that's a whole
40:46
big gigantic concept for me the concept of momento Mory in Latin translates little remember
40:54
that you will die and people oh my gosh that's depressing like no it's not that's not
41:00
the point it's having that flicker of light that everything can come to an end and it makes you really appreciate the
41:05
now it really appreciates what you have appreciate your health the absolute to me it's amazing
41:13
to feel normal I don't I've I've been through some injuries I've been through things
41:19
where I couldn't stand up straight I couldn't walk comfortably couldn't get off toilet there's been all kinds of funny things that happened to me just
41:26
the amazing ability to feel normal and if if people have back injuries they probably know what I'm talking about
41:32
yeah uh but just having an amazing appreciation for the the the opportunity
41:38
that you have in the moments yeah I mean even like working out and I've talked about this on the
41:43
podcast before it's like someone jokes and said hey do you get sore when you work out and and I my answer is I
41:48
started working out when I was 15 so I've actually been sore for like 36 years in a row and but it's that
41:56
soreness and that tightness that reminds me that my body is building to make me
42:03
stronger and so that's actually you know and if if you're you're a regular workout you go a couple of weeks or
42:09
three weeks or whatever for or have an injury you start to feel like kind of gushy or you know and it's mostly mental
42:16
but having that soreness and tightness is is something that that then
42:21
translates to me like it motivates me to keep pushing yep and I think we have different moments in our lives that are
42:28
like that mentally and emotionally too seems well that's what we're talking about as you get older you have to continue to mentally
42:35
train otherwise your brain turns a mush yeah yeah for sure I mean it's and I
42:40
don't what what is it that that motivates people to not do that like in
42:45
your experience because I mean people are coming to you you're teaching them you're coaching them you know what what
42:51
do you see a delineation between all right the people that are wanting to do it and the people that don't want to do it
42:58
uh depends on their level of letting if they're how much they're letting that little devil whisper into their ears if
43:05
they're letting them rationalize into like it's okay to do nothing and for a while I'm let me
43:11
rephrase it sometimes it is okay to do nothing I think it's absolutely necessary that's where some of yeah rest
43:16
is definitely important yeah like you have to be there's two sides of that to a coin where you have to yes you have to
43:22
be skilled in action but you also have to be skilled in non-action and so
43:28
for example like you have to take some time off from exercise I mean that and
43:35
some that that's a that doesn't mean it's a tactical move basically it's like you're letting your nervous system react
43:41
um and then also having awareness of what that does to your blood chemistry and how you can create cancer within
43:46
yourself and that's a whole other a whole other thing to finding balance
43:53
but I don't think I think I want to go back also cuz I think it plays in here
43:58
that some people might have uh certain things in their blood like this there's
44:03
this chemical neuropeptide y that some of the Special Forces folks will will measure and like use for uh evaluations
44:12
on on how resilient and gritty and how um energized they are towards their
44:18
skills you take like a Kobe Bryant and compare him to the rest of the league like what
44:24
exactly can you measure that in his blood chemistry mhm um and what is in
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people I don't know thirst for life it's a something they've been taught or maybe models they
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have have seen again it's like it's it's pretty easy to let yourself um stop
44:43
growing it's an easy thing to do and that's where momentum and desire and drive come
44:49
in yeah and it's funny like that you know you can start at any time I I think
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that there's this like it's too late I'm too old I'm too far gone ideology is
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something that paralyzes so many people um when I was a personal trainer
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I had a had a client of mine and he was like he's probably high 80s at the time
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we started training and he could literally not get up off the floor so he
45:18
would have to do that old person kind of rollover on your side and all that and
45:24
after like 12 to 16 weeks he came in we did training four or five days a week a lot of
45:30
training and you know he was doing crunches and deadlifts and squats and
45:36
like literally could like hop up off the floor and it's like it's never your body
45:41
wants that movement your mind wants that learning it's never too late to can to
45:48
to start or to you know go back to what you were doing before yeah plus comes
45:53
you have to have the self-awareness so you can self-regulate it I don't know were necessarily taught the dangers of
45:59
of our our culture of sitting for long periods of time and and the even the idea of
46:06
retirement like you're supposed to go and hang out and do nothing you're not taught retirement okay good go find some
46:11
Hobbies get you know that's not a that's not part of the culture yeah right now
46:16
and that's something that we have to you know keep combating against and it's like that big the big boat you know it's
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not going to make big changes right away but little incremental changes over time that's a different
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trajectory and that comes into training yeah or bringing in bringing in the
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awareness to it yeah the ability to get up and down is
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like you know that's like the it's like a weird thing but to me
46:45
it's I celebrate yeah it's a strange when I get out of bed and I can stand up and just
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start walking around to me that's like I'm already like I've celebrated my day already right
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like those little moments to me and that's what fires me up and I don't know helps me keep going
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um well and that's that attitude of gratitude right like it's literally like you're you're grateful for those those
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things and those you know and in in my name nomenclature it's blessings right
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like I I'm a I'm Faith person of faith and so it's like hey I I see these blessings and it's it's literally a
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blessing to be able to like you said get up out of bed and be able to walk you know pick up my
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dog and walk her outside she's a little dog so walk her and toss her outside to go to the bathroom or whatever like
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that's a that's a blessing to me versus so many different Pathways that could
47:41
have a different alternative you know not least of which is that I could not wake up at all that's a to me that that
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simple Act is a form of art it's a for like you're in a flow
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you're flowing you have like arms to be able to pick your dog up you
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have fingers and thumbs to to put on a leash your dog is healthy love you have
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the opportunity to have a dog you might have a nice house to even have the ability to have a dog you have a
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neighborhood you have grass right in front of your door like that's amazing a lot of people don't have grass right
48:16
outside their front door yeah live in an apartment living uh so on and so forth I mean you can
48:24
your ability to hear sounds like notice the trees on your block ability to see colors feel the wind on your cheeks all
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of that stuff I'm sure a lot of people might think this is nutty but like it's
48:38
that type of stuff that really makes me rooted in the beauty of Life simple things like that and that type of stuff
48:45
is what helps me stay out of um cynicism helps me stay out of depression it helps
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me stay closer to my Humanity it helps me keep my smile all of of the things
48:57
all comes down to Simple Thing uh gratitude practices and what does that practice
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look like I mean to is that something that's almost like a ongoing meditative
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State I mean it's or is it just like having the awareness um you know in my
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case I live in Montana I live eight miles out in the country I've got F five
49:20
acres we have no noise here like it's like getting up in the morning you know and this is my favorite time of year
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we're recording this in mid July um it's be it's absolutely beautiful the birds
49:33
are singing if there's a light Breeze you know a lot of times and this is going to sound weird but like I can
49:39
smell the cows right like there's cows that live behind my house and most people be like that's disgusting but
49:45
it's it's part of that when I see we have planes that spray you know we have
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those old school crop dusters that come over like it's like all of these little things that make me so thankful for the
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blessings of of being able to live in a place that very few people have even visited quite honestly when I talk to
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people like I've never been to Montana but in the but contrast that to like
50:09
when it's 68 below zero in January I have to then practice
50:14
reminding myself that this enormous snowstorm it has managed to make sure
50:21
that we have moisture for the summer because that's where most of our moisture comes from or the ability to
50:27
shovel snow or all of those things but is that something that you do like what is that Pro if someone's like hey I'd
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love to have that attitude or I'd love to have that practice how do they go about starting really I guess is the is
50:40
the easy question well it is a deliberate practice I've done I've been
50:46
doing it long enough now that it's like kind of part of my behavior but I still have to
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continuously do it when I feel myself getting upset or frustrated at or
50:57
disappointed or all those feelings that I don't want then I start like I do my best okay I'm having a negative thought
51:04
let me replace it with three thoughts of gratitude so whatever is oh it's 68 degrees I okay what's part of water I'm
51:11
awes I live in Montana how cool and beautiful are these Seasons you know and
51:16
then then you start replacing that and that's just again goes back to neuroplasticity but gratitude practice
51:21
can happen in a lot of different ways it can just be something where you are do a self body
51:28
scan some this you can be as simple as staring at your hand and be grateful for it you can actually feel there's a type
51:35
of like little meditation there you don't you don't some I don't call it meditation because people have their own
51:40
ideas of that but just being grateful for the ability to use your thumbs or feel the heat in your hands like this is
51:45
an amazing piece of equipment your hand yeah and being staring at it and being appreciative of it or um looking around
51:54
and looking at something in nature and you have a beautiful opportunity to do that and just looking at a tree and
52:01
thinking how amazing it is and how amazing it is to see those colors all of these a lot of times my gratit my own
52:08
personal gratitude practice comes down to my senses because they are completely like within me they're within my uh uh
52:16
skeletal system and so it's I I like to have inside um Inside Out appreciation for
52:24
Life instead of like attach matching my gratitude for things because like you can take away
52:31
all the things but like as I'll still have my ability to move or hopefully the ability to smell to see to hear so
52:38
that's where I I go that's where I have found my practice to be awesome and help me um the ability to hear my kids uh for
52:46
a long time I just wanted to hear have the ability to hear my my son cry like I think i' have that ability to
52:53
hear him cry at 3 in the morning and so now you know n he just turned
53:01
nine um like if him and his brother are fighting or someone crying whatever annoying sounds they're making I'll
53:08
recalibrate be like oh I remember a time I just wanted to hear them cry and it helps me take care now that moment is
53:14
framed differently so it's um not just having those appreciations but also reframing
53:20
things and very deliberately like I guess an easy thing to do is pick something at some point
53:26
part of the day and just think of seven things you're grateful for or could be
53:32
three right before going to bed Share three things that you're grateful for with
53:37
somebody um another fun practice I like to do is I'll open up my contacts list in my phone and I'll just I'll pick a
53:45
number like eight and I'll do like eight Scrolls through my contact list and whatever lands I pick somebody in that
53:51
list to send them like a compliment about them because we always have these feelings about our friends like oh you
53:57
know what he did awesome you know I really appreciate how he is with his kids or this other person is like you
54:04
know I thought they were a fantastic coach this year but a lot of times we just have those thoughts we don't really
54:10
do anything with them because it's not it so having that practice and reaching out and telling them that by the way
54:16
some amazing experiences come out of this because the responses you get from people lead to all kinds of things in
54:23
fact anyone listen try doing it just do it three times pick the numbers like five seven and 11
54:30
Just Let It Drop and send somebody a random compliment um I do this with my kids at
54:36
night like before bed I have them tell me three things they're grateful
54:41
for besides the practice of it's kind of fun to hear what they tell me it's also the practice of building their wiring
54:49
their brain to have that type of growth mindset and it is there are physical changes to the brain to have a gratitude
54:56
Factor like it's not just like I told you it's not just a thing to feel good you are
55:02
building a neural network of grit and resilience and appreciation for
55:08
Life uh I do the same thing at red lights for me if I'm in a red light is a
55:15
reminder okay what are you grateful for probably don't have red lights out
55:20
there we do yeah not a lot but and the reason I'm saying all this stuff and I
55:26
compare because people will have to go to some place where you're at to help them recalibrate uh I live in LA um I'm close
55:33
to LAX so there's you know there's the Earth is suffocated by concrete and and
55:39
pollution and there's constant noise and people and traffic and all of those
55:44
things so to have it is a constant practice because eni environment that I'm in is not built to help me relax
55:52
it's not built for my Wellness so I have to have a practice to combat it otherwise I become a victim and then so
55:58
much a victim that I don't even I'm not even aware but I've gotten grumpy and cynical and
56:03
depressed yeah but I mean to that point though I think it's actually you know sadly it's also easy for me to do that
56:10
same thing here and take it for granted you know you you you take for granted the quiet and beauty and and serenity
56:18
and and all those things and but you drop me in the middle of La which I've got a lot of Southern California friends
56:23
and you know I can't wait to go wait to get out so it would it would be uh but I
56:31
but all that to say I should be practicing in the same way here as I do as I would there when I visit and I
56:37
think that that's awesome I love that contact idea that's a super because I'm one that over the last couple of years
56:42
I've really really tried to tell my friends um especially my guy friends you
56:49
know I love you I appreciate you you mean this to me in my life this is something I'm proud of my you know I'm
56:55
proud of you for those kind of things but I've never thought about the randomization of of doing that and so
57:00
I'm I'm going to try that today I think that's super that's super great there is massive power in random compliments
57:06
especially somebody you haven't talked to in like six months or a year yeah you got to push yourself you're going to land on some stuff you're like H and
57:13
then try to avoid it yep but that's part of it uh and also going back to the point of of you something that fires me
57:20
up is the strength from the inside out gratitude from the inside out to me like
57:26
that type of practice it doesn't matter where you put me I'm going to have it
57:32
Montana in La uh in a jail cell in a p camp you
57:39
know that's where a lot of the stuff comes from you know reading some of you know like uh like frankl's
57:46
book um it's not the environment it has to come from the
57:52
inside yeah and not the in not the situation right like you you know I've
57:57
read some of those po p stories and the ones that survive thrive and then live a
58:03
happy life over time are the ones who had that you know it's it's the grit the
58:11
cesu the but it's also like finding this contentment and joy regardless of the
58:17
situation that you're in I think that's a lot of what comes from gratitude is is joy and contentment too and um man I
58:25
think that's that's just awesome some stuff and and if you really if we go a little bit further and we start dressing
58:31
undressing all that stuff it comes down to love that's what helped uh Franco and
58:37
his love for his wife um I don't if you know the story of uh Louis zerini yep love right gratitude all that
58:46
stuff like is is it's not like a a foofoo word it is a to me it is a true
58:53
warrior word yeah and and love is like a word like you mentioned
58:58
like mention your buddies you love them love to me is not like a bad word right
59:04
you know it's not like a insecure word it's a powerful it's the most powerful
59:09
word if you think to like what we do and what behaviors humans
59:15
do it comes down to Love sometimes love of money or love of your brother um yeah
59:22
Love's super powerful yeah and you know it's it's funny I think I've told this
59:28
story on the podcast before but I have a friend of mine that would say hey man I love you man but not in a weird way
59:33
right and so that became like this this joke but you know it was a little sad in
59:38
one way but it was also like all right so that's the way that he's able to express you know that feeling without
59:46
being weird about it which to me it's it's less weird than it than it ever has been but love is you know we've done a
59:54
lot of marriage Ministry and marriage um premarital counseling and all that stuff and we've been throwing marital
59:59
challenges which we actually Sunday which is two days from now 29 years um
1:00:05
I've been married and so but we always use the phrase Love Is Love is a
1:00:12
choice right like it's it's an A Love is an active word you you have to do you
1:00:18
know it's a practice also so I think that's and to your point it's it is the most powerful emotion that we have I
1:00:25
think yep yes and it's something again especially with men that to fight
1:00:32
through and realizing that vulnerability is strength and it's Oak it actually is like the strongest and most masculine
1:00:39
thing you can do is to be yourself you don't need to hide it you don't need to hide it behind a mask and
1:00:46
pretend to be something you're not yeah that's like a that's a little bit I want to say a coward but there's
1:00:52
no courage and honor in that no and putting on the mask and pretend to be someone else we went to a Men's
1:00:58
Conference at the beginning about a month ago and um I'm not really a crier
1:01:03
like I don't cry a lot um but during this conference there was a bunch of different crazy things that happened it
1:01:10
actually cried in front of like 40 guys like three times and I was talking to one of the younger guys about this and
1:01:16
he's like man I have not seen a more masculine display than
1:01:22
seeing a guy because I'm you know I have a physicality about me I tend to be a little bit over the top and that kind of
1:01:28
thing but to see that vulnerability to him was more more of showing more mass because we were talking about
1:01:34
masculinity at the time but it's showing that vulnerability is is where the masculinity and the strength really came
1:01:41
through you know so you were feeling a certain way feel it yeah like don't it's that's the funny
1:01:49
thing is like like like you're trying to hide something and pretend to be
1:01:56
something I always ask I was like what's tough about that like it's e that's easy path the
1:02:03
easy thing to do is that I yeah yeah because then you can put on different identity you can be something you know
1:02:09
not that you're not you don't have to be honest and all that right yes yeah I I mean it's be proud of how who you are
1:02:16
you know that's like a a thing for me I love I love it well Scott I want to be
1:02:22
uh respectful of your time I really appreciate you being here um we we didn't get into anything that I had on
1:02:28
my list so that's awesome I always like it I always like it when it goes that way so maybe have to have you back again
1:02:34
but uh hey if people want to learn more about what you've got going on uh find out more about you reach out to you how
1:02:39
they do that probably the easiest thing is on Instagram just Scott McGee
1:02:45
mcge uh pretty receptive there to to um direct
1:02:51
messages uh on there also I have the cisu way podcast there is an in account
1:02:56
for that um one thing also to look out for coming up December we do this thing
1:03:02
called the character Mile and that's it you do complete one mile every day
1:03:07
during the month of December um it's funny like that thing started I tried to get like a handful of
1:03:13
friends to do it with me and so far it's spread to 14 different countries um and
1:03:20
it's just an awesome thing so take a take you'll see you guys will see what I'm talking about when if you go looking um you look up that hashtag but yeah
1:03:27
Scott McGee um please reach out follow account I leave a bunch of cool notes
1:03:33
and thoughts on that um and yeah appreciate the opportunity awesome man
1:03:38
well the best part about this podcast is learning from other other people and uh making you friends and so I'm super
1:03:44
excited to uh to continue that and I thank you for your time all right thank you brother if you're looking to really
1:03:51
maximize your life and become the man you were made to be head over to maxed out man.com and get your journey started
1:03:59
today [Music]