Episode 62 - Building Castles from the Deep: Real Estate to Real Connection - Brett Snodgrass

Brett Snodgrass, a full-time real estate investor and founder of Iron Deep ministry, shares his journey and insights on real estate investing, entrepreneurship, and the challenges faced by business owners. He discusses various real estate strategies such as wholesaling, whole-tailing, and creative financing. Brett also highlights the tax benefits of investing in rental properties. He emphasizes the pressures and stresses of entrepreneurship, including the loneliness and sacrifices involved. 

Finally, he explains how his own struggles and experiences led to the creation of Iron Deep, a ministry for Christian men in business. In this part of the conversation, Brett Snodgrass discusses the importance of building deep relationships and finding a supportive community in entrepreneurship. They also explore the pressure and responsibility of being an entrepreneur and the impact it has on relationships, particularly with spouses. 

The conversation delves into the challenges of balancing risk and security, as well as the identity crisis that men often face. They also discuss the importance of finding common ground and celebrating each other's strengths in relationships. Finally, they touch on the significance of changing perspectives and finding meaning and purpose in life. In this conversation, Brett Snodgrass discusses his transition from being an entrepreneur to leading men in ministry through Iron Deep. He emphasizes the importance of delegating and finding balance in life. Brett shares his heart for creating a deeper brotherhood among men and the impact of the Iron Deep retreats. He also addresses the struggle of finding like-minded men in church and the need for intentional community. Brett encourages men to reflect on their desires and goals and to be honest with themselves. He concludes by offering advice for men who are struggling in various areas of life.

Takeaways

• Real estate investing offers various strategies such as wholesaling, whole-tailing, and rental properties.
• Investing in rental properties can provide tax benefits through cost segregation and forced depreciation.
• Entrepreneurship comes with pressures, stresses, and sacrifices, including the need to constantly lead and fulfill promises to employees, lenders, and family.
• The journey of entrepreneurship can be lonely, and many successful business owners privately struggle with personal and family issues.
• Brett Snodgrass founded Iron Deep ministry to support Christian men in business and help them navigate their internal battles. Building deep relationships and finding a supportive community is crucial in entrepreneurship.
• Entrepreneurs often face pressure and responsibility for the livelihood of their families and employees.
• Balancing risk and security is a challenge in relationships, particularly when one partner is more risk-averse.
• Finding common ground and celebrating each other's strengths is essential for a healthy relationship.
• Changing perspectives and finding meaning and purpose can help navigate identity shifts in entrepreneurship.

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Transcript

0:00
[Music] welcome to maxed out man helping you
0:06
become the man you were made to be all right hey guys this Kevin Davis
0:11
from the max out man podcast and today we're here with Brett Snodgrass which is going to be super interesting before we
0:16
get started want to remind you go to maxed out man.com to learn about memberships and challenges and courses
0:23
and all the stuff that we offer find us on all those social medias as well so I'm gonna do a quick intro for Brett and
0:28
then we'll get started Brett uh he's been a full-time real estate in uh investor for what' you say 17 years he
0:34
specializes in wholesaling whole te whole te tailing which is which is a
0:40
concept I'm not so I've done a bunch of BR you know Burr stuff on my own but never wholesale creative financing and
0:46
scaling a business from a oneman band to an amazing full team running hundreds of deals per year so congrats on that
0:51
that's super awesome BR also heads a Ministry for men called iron deep which is a unique men's community madeup of
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risk-taking mission min male Business Leaders who vow to go beyond success to fulfill their significant person purpose
1:05
in Christ his new book The Secret War within was written to help to driven
1:10
entrepreneurs in their own internal battles they fight daily uh that others don't even realize while it hits some
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hard and raw issues it also serves to be a guide for Hope and victory also has two podcasts iron deep and simple
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wholesaling podcast which you said the wholesaling podcast is currently on sabatical right a little bit uh and you
1:29
can find out more about him and I'll go ahe and put this out there Iron deep uh.com or and you can find the book at
1:35
in there or at any major retailer so hey Brett that's a long intro right like I I
1:40
I grabbed that put that stuff together this morning and it's um so thanks for coming I really appreciate you coming on
1:46
board uh and I have to say first of all your your team sent me this amazing like
1:53
I was like I have to do this at some point has a little has a nice little card it came in with the book it's all
2:00
branded it has a little like Papyrus thing looking with some with some uh
2:06
some you know paper in there and so I was I was super impressed yeah and I probably even sprayed a little cologne
2:12
on it just to I've been I've been sleeping with it under my pillow uh so
2:18
hey thanks for coming aboard that's your basic bio but I know the story goes so much deeper here and so Phil free to I
2:24
I'd like to know more about your story and I know since you do the podcast this is a little interesting to be on this
2:30
side of the mic sometimes because you get to talk about yourself right so which which we don't do that often now
2:37
number one Kevin thank you so much for having me on the podcast I love what you're doing and helping out men and uh their purpose and having victory in
2:43
their life and uh just kind of saw your transformation over the last several years and and just amazing so thanks
2:49
again for having me on and uh yeah man just a little bit of Bio just to kind of take you guys behind the curtains Brett
2:55
Snodgrass born and raised in Indiana so I live in Fort Wayne Indiana uh I'm a
3:00
son of the king so I'm a I'm a Christian man man of Faith uh married to Karen for 11 years have four children so I'm
3:07
leading a kind of a chaotic home right we get a lot of different moving parts from 17-year-old daughter to a
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5-year-old daughter and two boys in the middle and and I run a real estate business uh we're called the simple team
3:19
simple quarter simple wholesaling we're out of Indianapolis Indiana been doing that 17 years and uh we've done 33500
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deals uh it's been a ride uh a lot of ups and downs throughout that but got a beautiful team and a beautiful culture
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and so I lead that um last year God kind of laid on my heart to start this ministry called iron deep just to kind
3:40
of work with men Christian men business owners and that's just what I am right
3:46
so it's really just working with myself uh you know and uh we've had a few events and right now we're I'm leading
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12 guys called the iron core uh we're kind of doing life together for a year and uh and I just love love with that
3:59
group's all about wrote the book secret word within that relates to that ministry as well and uh again pulling
4:05
back the curtains of men's battles men's daily battles the war the the you know
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the identity and that's really where the book comes into and that was a passion project too so done a lot of different
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things and uh excited to be here man so thanks again thanks for coming I mean this is something that I
4:24
really value um you know cuz what's the story right all entrepreneurs are
4:29
successful we don't have any problems it's super exciting we make a lot of money none of
4:34
those are things are true right I mean it it can be a little exciting but there's a lot of I told my guest yesterday that I recorded with is like
4:41
we go through these times and I'm kind of in that phase right now for the last month or two where I'm like impostor
4:47
syndrome and some of those kind of things right like I'm you know I'm I'm
4:52
very forward facing in in most of my roles and in in different Industries and
4:58
then at the same time you like get back to the hotel room and like dude I just am I full of crap right like I just that
5:04
was vs yeah I mean I just just lied to that audience which is not true but that's
5:10
like the enemy wants to tell us that that's true for sure and you know for those of you that are not Believers that
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are listening to this I I would encourage you to you know we have we have tons of different guests on this
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show right like we're not we're not a Christian podcast I'm not a Christian business owner as I call myself but I'm
5:27
a business owner uh like I don't own a Christian business but I'm a business owner that is a Christian amen and so if
5:34
you're if you're not a person of faith I would encourage you to listen along because I think that you're probably facing the exact same things in your own
5:41
life that that we face and then then there's there's this certain hope that we have right as Christian men because
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we have something to lean on that's not just ourselves right and and whether you you know go down that road or not
5:55
obviously we would encourage you to do that because it's it's something that we find Hope in but I hope you'll listen
6:00
along anyway and learn from us actually learn from Brett I'm just here to I'm I'm ornamental in this process but um so
6:08
tell me about first of all you know little background on me I actually have done a little bit of Burr investing you
6:14
know the which is more of the you know buy renovate you know rent repeat
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refinance all of that stuff I like all these terms it right wholesaling and then you mentioned wh tailing you're
6:26
like I don't even know what the what the crap that is and then Bur that came out few year I don't you know five six seven
6:32
years ago probably from Bigger Pockets start talking about this birth strategy and and yeah and that's that the buy uh
6:40
you know rent repeat refinance bu buy renovate refinance rent repeat or
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something like that b basically the idea is you buy a house that needs to be renovated you do a you you get some
6:53
creative financing you do the renovation you refinance to pull some cash out if you're lucky hopefully cash flow
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positive and then you just do that over and over and over again where wholesaling is different right wholetail
7:05
is different you can explain I don't know much about wholesaling you know so why don't you you know we'll talk we'll
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start on the business side a little bit but then I want to talk about the rest of it uh even more yeah definitely so uh
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I guess I'll just take you back a little bit my parents were teachers and I went to college to be a teacher got an
7:23
elementary education degree and uh but I've always been interested in in business and creating money like I
7:29
always love just kind of buying and selling things whether it was candy at school or cars or stereo systems and it
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just happened to be houses um and you were that you were that little kid with like the trench coat at recess you know
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you got like Mars Bars I was literally in the sixth grade I would go to Sam's Club buy a bunch of
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candy take it in at lunch and sell it for a quarter a piece to all my friends and uh awesome and my B my pants were
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like all Heavy with all the change in them coming home but but I was always just interested in creating money uh I
8:04
was a pretty good math guy and uh and so anyways I went to college and became a teacher but I realized you know this
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just wasn't for me and and nothing against teaching we need some amazing teachers my parents are good teachers
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but honestly they just don't make any money at the end at the end of the day and I was I was about you know bringing
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uh wanting to to bring wealth to have Financial Freedom and teaching wasn't going to do that for me so I started really studying and just kind of landed
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into real estate read some books Rich Dad Poor Dad The Millionaire Next Door just started learning about real estate
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and we bought our first house in 2007 so take yourself back 2007's hitting
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starting great time to buy a house well I'll tell you Ian but if you're in the
8:47
business 2008 2009 was an amazing time to buy property yes so 2007 towards the
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end of 2007 we bought our first house and it was about $99,000 so just take yourself back you know Youngstown Ohio
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bought this just really crappy house for $9,000 we end up selling it for $ 15,000 we made $6,000 so that was my very first
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deal and at that time I was like oh my gosh $6,000 that's like more money I've ever seen in my entire life what did we
9:12
just do I can't believe it and then we just rinsed and repeat that the next
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year in 2008 when the market was at the bottom we did 150 of those deals um and
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the Market's just gone up from there I mean really I mean I blessed lucky I mean I got in 2007 2008 and now 2023
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right we what have we seen the market has just gone up we just seen increase and we thought it was going to crash it
9:40
was funny we saw news articles in 2015 let's wait for the market to crash it's right around the corner and here we are
9:46
like eight years later covid hits yeah it's going down baby interest rates it's going down and here we are um so 17
9:53
years in been very blessed with it um so a little about wholesaling yeah I mean it is a it's a marketing business it's a
10:00
private you know we're sending out letters we're doing cool calling we're sending out texts we're just talking to
10:05
to private homeowners to to buy their home for for cash or in a creative way
10:11
um and we do that several times so we're kind of known in Indianapolis as a you
10:16
know a really good house buyer I kind of relate our business to like CarMax in the car industry so we buy houses CarMax
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buys houses we buy them at a discount uh we sell houses and we also Finance
10:27
houses so people come to us because we'll sell them our home and we'll Finance it will be the bank so we're
10:33
kind of like the car Maxa the real estate industry and uh that's that's a little bit I also do rentals too um as
10:39
well so so different types of buckets wholesaling wholesaling is our active income rentals and then we also do the
10:46
seller financing where or the bank so and do you make a choice to do the rentals based on um all right so this
10:52
house is probably not as valuable as it could be but if we hold it for a year or two years as a rental then then we you
10:59
know can kind of is that what's your decision-making process on that side of things I don't have a great strategy honestly with it most of the time our
11:05
rentals are because we inherited a a tenant uh because tenant occupied properties are tough to sell so maybe uh
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there's someone and they have a couple of properties and they just happen to be rented and we'll say oh you know we'll
11:19
take it with the tenant so then we just inherit the tenant and we keep it as a rental most of them have happened that
11:24
way um but some of them are yeah this will be a nice rental uh let's keep it
11:29
because I can refinance it and get a get a lot of money out of it uh so so it'll be it'll be that we'll do the burth
11:35
strategy on some of them as well or a lot of times I'll do like a portfolio refinance so I'll buy 10 properties and
11:42
then we'll refinance all 10 of them with a larger with a large loan we do that as well those of you that don't know and
11:49
we're you know this is we're recording this at the end of February so tax season is coming up um this whole tax
11:55
the rich thing always cracks me up because rich people don't pay tax taxes
12:01
um right they don't yeah the middle class and the middle class pay taxes
12:06
right so what was you going so what were you say yeah I mean it's just interesting it's an interesting comment and I think you got to really just shift
12:12
your mind around that I was talking to my CPA and they're very heavy in the real estate investing and I probably for
12:18
the first several years had this mix misconception of oh you know I make some
12:24
money got to pay my taxes my CPA this is probably four or five years ago he said real estate investor don't pay taxes
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right yep and that he said that and that just shifted everything for me I was like oh yeah I don't pay tax that Real
12:37
Estate Investors we don't pay taxes so if anyone says if anyone if an investor comes say man I had to pay this huge tax
12:43
bill I say well Real Estate Investors don't pay taxes and if they do we got to figure something out what are they doing
12:49
wrong right I mean he's taking Donald Trump yeah he was getting crucified for his his um for his taxes not paying
12:54
taxes real estate he's a investors don't pay taxes right that's all that comment
12:59
at that town hall right cuz like that and if you go look it up on on YouTube you can see it and we're not here to
13:05
talk about politics but I thought it was a great comment because Hillary Clinton during this town hall was like yeah
13:10
Donald Trump doesn't pay his fair share or taxes and he literally said you're right I don't pay taxes and neither do
13:16
any of your your friends right right and if and if you don't really and we I could do kind of the quick 101 but
13:22
essentially when you do so you want to take advantage of the tax laws as much as possible when you're talking about
13:27
real estate and refinancing because you're actually taking out equity on those homes you can actually pull cash
13:33
out of that stuff and it's not taxable income and so someone like Donald Trump who owns like eight billion dollars
13:39
worth of real estate like he's probably in a his people just constantly refinance everything yeah even at
13:45
different real even at different interest rates and all that because that's how he pulls cash out yeah but he
13:51
doesn't pay tax on that right so if you're not investing in real estate it's definitely something to to to look into
13:57
it's not risk-free obviously there's a lot there but and really that's why I started buying rentals is
14:02
because my CPA said that comment he said Real Estate measures don't pay taxes and I said oh why pay taxes how do I not pay
14:08
taxes and he said well you got to buy some rentals you got to do some cost segregation you got to do Force depreciation you got to do all these
14:14
different things to force depreciate your assets and then you don't pay taxes anyways that's a whole long-winded
14:19
another podcast but uh but at the end of the day that's why I have Reynolds yeah
14:25
yeah so you know this isn't a real estate podcast but you know it's it's something that I think all of us as as
14:32
because we got a lot of guy entrepreneurs listen to this and uh this is a great opportunity but it's not like
14:38
when you go on the internet right everything is bur this and bur that get rich and you know there are some very
14:45
definitive strategies that you need to have so take some CL you know find someone that can teach you how to do this correctly make sure you get some
14:52
cash on the hand there's different you know obviously that other people's money thing is is always fun um but like a a
14:59
business like yours is awesome because with me you know we have to go find hard money lender guys we have to kind of go
15:05
through that process and then we do refinances and if you've gone through a mortgage process since 2009 you know you
15:11
know it's a pain in the ass so it is for sure it is and most of the private and that's just a whole different ball game
15:17
but I use uh got into private money lenders several years ago so this is just John the doctor that I call up and
15:25
say hey I got a house he says how much you need 150,000 it's there tomorrow that's the
15:33
difference between private money and the Hoops of hard money or traditional money
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so that's just what I got into so I got several private money uh Partners they just trust us they they they've been
15:44
lending for years and it's just a just change the game so all these things again it's just wealth building
15:50
strategies that I love I mean I love creating I love uh building it so it's fun so talk to me about that Journey so
15:56
you've been doing this for 17 years it's a know all of us love this stuff if we're entrepreneurs we love this journey
16:02
we love the excitement but at the same time there's this other side of this coin right like there's the there's the
16:08
long nights or stressing about overhead or stressing about that next deal or if the deal falls through or if a renter
16:14
trashes the house or uh talk to me about that journey and how you started to
16:20
develop kind of this hey I I can learn from this and help other men yeah to deal with this as well talk to me about
16:27
that a little bit yeah yeah I mean I think your your podcast really talks about just kind of the Lonely Road of the entrepreneur the
16:34
business owner uh and I think that uh men are starting to talk about that a little bit more but but here here's the
16:40
way it looks uh we again we have it all together we don't have much problems we make the money we always have our masks
16:46
on we always have to lead everything so we're leading our businesses we can't talk to our employees about really anything we can't we're leading our
16:54
family we're trying to lead our health uh but you know we're sacrificing a lot
17:00
uh so our neck is always on the line uh so you talk about just kind of the pressure some anxiety some stress with
17:07
it and you know if your neck is always on the line like an employee they can walk away at any time and maybe they
17:13
lose a couple of months of paychecks they get a different job your neck is on the line and I've had to you know walk
17:19
through that for 17 years people have come into the business and go our necks on the line I can't get away from that
17:26
um again you know I've made promises as an entrepreneur you're making promises I got private lenders I've made promises
17:33
to I've got employees I've made promises to I have to not only feed my own family I got to feed 16 other people's families
17:40
they're counting on that uh and you got to kind of keep the machine going so some of the things yeah anxiety stress
17:46
I've had late nights I've been to the doctor's office have heart checkup stress tests um my wife has seen it uh
17:54
you know going through some of these different things uh so there's some Darkness to it there's some loneliness
18:00
to it and uh but then there's obviously rewards it's fun you can control your own schedule have freedom make as much
18:07
as what you want lead team impact people's lives so there's all that too um so really uh iron deep was kind of
18:16
born about a year ago and uh just I was kind of in part of different Mastermind
18:21
groups I was part of some church groups we talk about faith so I've had that world I was also part of real estate
18:26
Mastermind groups and part of that world and again some of the same stories guys
18:32
uh were very publicly successful but privately were struggling uh privately
18:37
their families were struggling they were going through relationship issues or divorces or kid issues raise your hand
18:44
if the entrepreneurial world the businessman struggles with being a father because it's hard because you're
18:50
you're leading all these different things and sometimes your family gets the leftover so they were struggling with that they were struggling with
18:56
their health uh addictions alcohol pornography all these different things and uh so and again some of these groups
19:04
were great they helped my business and they were great but still I didn't have like a lot of deep relationships coming
19:10
out of there we talked about business we talked about money we talked about sales we talked about growth but I still
19:16
couldn't call a lot of those guys and be like and I'm struggling with this or let's celebrate you know because I had
19:21
this like we were still kind of in for it for ourselves and you know we're still just
19:28
sharing or highlight reels just like you do on social media and it just wasn't that so really iron deep was born of
19:33
iron sharpening iron but then just going deep with God and deep with each other like hey let's just take off The Masks
19:39
let's be honest let's just lay it all out and let's challenge each other but
19:44
let also celebrate each other so that's where this this whole group uh kind of was born and how how long is that
19:52
process to get someone first of all let me say it's it is interesting that to be
19:57
able to find your people right I've made the statement a few times I don't really like people but I really like my
20:05
people yes I understand because there you know I live in a place uh I live in
20:10
smalltown Montana um and there's not just a huge amount of entrepreneurs
20:17
right so like most of my friends live all over the world and so we do Zoom calls we do phone calls and all that and
20:23
I can call I've got a couple of them then I can say dude this weekend suck like I'm just down tell me like what do
20:30
I need to do to change my mindset about this but that's hard you know I don't really have anybody I could just go sit
20:36
down to lunch today and have that conversation and I'm sure that most people do what is it I do want to point
20:43
out one thing that you said and that stress and that anxiety someone said to me over the weekend so my wife was a stay-at-home mom she took early
20:50
retirement out of PR when we when we basically had our first child and we've been married 28 years um if you listen
20:57
to the podcast you know that CU I talk about about this all the time um how awesome it is but someone mentioned like
21:03
he said to me he said I don't think most people understand the pressure when you
21:09
are 100% responsible for the entire security of a family right and in your
21:16
case I don't have I have some part-time employees and that kind of stuff but I'm not responsible for the livelihood of 16
21:21
other people right so I can imagine that even so then you're taking on your own family but then you're you know
21:27
responsible for all these other families what do you think about that like is that something that you see yeah yeah I
21:33
think uh most of my friends business owners
21:39
many of their wives stay home um because again you they make they make quite a bit of money and uh their wives you know
21:47
want to be a stay home mom my wife Karen she has been a stay home mom for 10 years uh now and by the way it's the
21:54
best thing ever and it's the hard it's way harder than anything we do as entreprene let me point that out first
22:00
of all it is yeah I was having a conversation with a mentor of mine he's like you know to look and see what my
22:06
wife actually does like I I would probably pull my hair out uh that'd be really stressful really anxiety so yeah
22:12
I mean I think that the pressure is obviously uh there and and as an entrepreneur right I mean you're kind of starting from nothing I mean yeah you
22:18
get your systems you get your processes then you start to get confidence you get traction but really too we're rolling
22:24
the dice I mean you know I'm I'm making educated decisions and but but this is our risk uh that you know we're buying
22:31
these houses thinking hey we're going to make a profit so we can make a lot of money but we can also lose a lot of
22:37
money and those of us that have been doing it for a while we have those years is like hey I made a quar million dollars hey I made minus
22:45
$200,000 yeah yeah so I think that's that's some of it uh and and I think
22:50
it's just you know I think the healthy marriage right we just kind of understand each other she is a supportive of me CU she sees me a little
22:56
bit she sees what I'm kind of going through but I o see and try to support her and see kind of what she's going
23:02
through and it's just this nice teamwork this this kind of dance uh that we kind of go through but but I think yeah a lot
23:08
of my friends men they can get stressed out if things aren't going well you know we're supposed to be these this man this
23:14
provider this and you really want to kick a man down is when he can't provide for his
23:21
family yeah that's when it gets real and your identity and your all your your all
23:26
your stuff comes out is when you start and you can't provide maybe you can't be the weight you want to be or maybe you
23:32
can't do some of that stuff but if you can't support your family then that's where it gets uh pretty raw so yeah
23:38
because that's almost like that's like the core of of most men I think and I think you know we can talk about this
23:44
but I think now in today's society that's becoming less so which I think is causing this identity crisis in men
23:50
because it is I believe the Nate and god-given right like we we are the
23:56
providers we we're the hunter gather and all that and you know but it's it's that
24:02
that fear you know when we have those months where hey it's winter time and in my case I own a bunch of brands on the
24:08
internet so and the automotive space so the last few months are a little bit slower and then I start going oh crap
24:13
what am I going to do how do I need to bring this up this is you know and it's not just like oh I'm single and I want
24:18
to make you know I want to be able to buy my cell phone next right it's just that it's that hey how do I pay the
24:24
mortgage how do I pay you know how do I make sure my kids are taken care of and my wife is Tak care of and all that and so yeah that that pressure is definitely
24:31
something um that's interesting did your wife what what I'm curious because my
24:36
story is is kind of interesting but did your wife grow up in an entrepreneurial situation and how does
24:42
that how does that affect that because I want to I'm lead I'm leading the conversation a little bit but no yeah
24:48
you know you're good um if you ever taken kind of personality tests uh like an inag um dis disc test like so for me
24:57
if you check out some of my tests I am all risk like I don't need much
25:02
security um I am a quick starter I fly
25:07
by my seat sometimes I love challenges I love new things I don't like routine
25:13
sometimes I'm I struggle with that details I struggle with that and my wife is exactly opposite so she loves details
25:19
she loves routines that she could eat the same thing every single day every single meal um she wants 100% security
25:27
no risk no debt so that's that's how she operates
25:32
and that's how her her parents operated so she grew up uh and no debt her dad and mom built
25:40
their home in 1981 and they still live in that exact same home never mortgage on it never any debt ever Dave Ramsey
25:49
100% all the way and then she marries me and I'm just like let's just roll the dice
25:57
yeah um so it hasn't been a challenging uh you know sometimes uh sometimes I
26:03
mean I run I run the business I run the financials I pay the bills I do you know
26:09
that's just kind of like my role in our home and she takes she glues everything else together uh so you know we talk
26:16
about some things uh but when it comes to really the nitty-gritty business she probably is is an unknown because it
26:22
might scare or freak her out now we talk about our bills things like that but the business stuff yeah that's more of my
26:29
plate so it's it's so it's so crazy and so funny and I'd be I'd love to hear
26:34
from other men that you know other married men and maybe you can point to this but my wife is exactly the same my
26:41
wife's dad was a la fireman he did 20 years he retired they never did any debt
26:48
we used to teach Dave Ramsey at church yeah um and and granted I've made some
26:54
poor decisions that have gotten me upside down in debt and trying you know Consumer Debt C like that so there is
26:59
there is that but she is very risk averse and like it's something over the
27:05
last 30 years that we've struggled constantly with like I had a real job up until like 99 so I've been self-employed
27:13
for 27 years or something like that and I've I've just and it's just that's how
27:19
that's how I run I run exactly like what you're describing she runs exactly like your wife uh more or less and and so
27:26
like I it's I took over the finances she used to be like she literally the joke
27:32
was she could tell me how much change I had in my pocket or sitting on my desk like she she knew the budget to that and
27:39
she finally decided she's like look this stresses me out to stress out too much yeah I I can't do it when I see you know
27:46
a new real estate loan for $200,000 or you know what whatever those things are
27:51
right and try to manage business debt and you know all those different loans that we get um and so yeah I think we
27:58
joke around too it's like you know I think if if it was up to my wife she would probably have desired maybe a 9
28:06
to5 person at least the times of 9 to5 because there's been Seasons where I've
28:11
had to work a lot that I didn't think about the business that I woke up early before anyone was up and I'm and I'm up
28:19
at 5:00 a.m. trying to do payroll or figure things out during certain Seasons
28:24
or I think that she would have maybe thought hey I'm going to I'm GNA marry a N9 to-5 person um and uh but she didn't
28:32
and uh and I think that's the I think one of the misconceptions is people uh my uncle told me this like you're so
28:38
lucky you're you own your own business you can do whatever you want whenever you want to do it and honestly sometimes
28:44
that during certain Seasons the truth is we've traded a 9 to-5 for 247 right and and and we got that pressure I mean
28:50
there's certain times where I make payroll and I got 400 bucks in the bank and I just paid out $70,000 in payroll
28:57
like it's just kind of crazy so uh well they say I I'm glad I love having a 120
29:02
hour a week job so I don't have to have a 40 hour a week job yeah no definitely so there's been
29:09
some uh definitely some um conversations with her but we uh we work at out we
29:14
balance each other out I mean I pull her into into more adventurous uh things and
29:19
she grounds me uh with things as well so that's that's exactly our story my wife
29:24
you know and having the freedom is is always great I my one of my first businesses was web development so which
29:30
I back in the day I mean this is like in the early 2000s so um so we really could do it from anywhere that I could that I
29:36
had an internet connection um and they're not as prevalent now as they that you know they're not they were not
29:43
as prevalent then as they are now yeah but I I think that's great way to look
29:48
at it in terms of like how do you deal with that what are those conversations that you have because I think women um
29:56
by and large want the SEC security because security tends to be much more important to most of them but they also
30:03
desire that Adventure at least in my in my case so my wife was like a stay-at-home mom turned you know
30:10
off-roader rally car builder car builder welder like all these crazy things once
30:15
the kids left home but it was my entrepreneurial spirit that kind of
30:21
drove her to this adventure and she's like yeah it's it's scary as hell a lot of times but I wouldn't trade the
30:28
Venture part of it I think she she trayed the stress on in a lot of cases but not the not the adventure what kind
30:35
of conversations do you recommend having with with like how do you how do you
30:40
navigate that to have that kind of like hey honey it's all going to be okay or just like you just ignore it I'll make
30:47
sure it happens I think yeah just my wife's the the same way I think that she maybe
30:55
would like some of that 9 to5 but she also loves the Freedom she loves the adventur she loves that I don't have to
31:01
call in to call off of work or if we want to go on vacation we don't have to
31:08
count our pennies I guess right be like oh well we gota you know we can't go out to eat uh stff like that so it's it's
31:14
it's been nice um with that I think it's just um I think just being aware right
31:19
and then just celebrating with who each other is uh that sometimes we can have
31:27
friction and you know I'm this risk-taking adventure guy and I want to just travel the world and do all these crazy things
31:33
and you want to you know you're home body and want to stay home when you're good you just want to be home by yourself that's where you find peace at
31:39
um and that can cause some friction but I think it's just you know having those being aware and celebrating each other in that and you know I have these
31:46
strengths she has these Str these strengths and uh maybe just trying to do
31:51
something we saw some marriage coaches uh about a year ago and and that really
31:57
help so a lot of times you know we're focused on our marriage is focus in on their problems some of their issues but
32:04
like you know can you focus in on your purpose like what are your strengths what is your purpose and you have these
32:09
overlapping things like honestly really if you look down at it you want the same thing you want these same things so what
32:15
are those overlapping things and then can you look at your life and be like okay how can we design some of these
32:20
things that we overlap on some of these things that Brett wants to do some of these things that car wants to do what
32:25
the things that we want to do together so for example like we love doing events we love Hospitality we love all that so
32:31
like iron I was doing this iron deep right with these Men's Ministry and men and I said well some of these guys man I
32:36
love to be my wife I'm like well how about we do a couple's thing so we're doing that this year so I can do it with
32:42
my wife so these are something like we're overlapping on that we can do together so just finding some commonality there uh that we can do
32:50
things together so uh I think just focusing on the purpose and the alignment versus versus the problem and
32:55
the friction so I don't that helps at all bit yeah that's 100% we've gone to counseling probably seven or eight times
33:01
in our marriage and and counseling or coaching sometimes there's some crisis things that we need to do with and but
33:07
most of the time I call it changing your it's like changing your oil right in your marriage right we went to a weeklong retreat in Colorado called
33:14
Crossroads which is an a absolutely great Christian retreat kind of Center
33:19
thing and they do some deep work there which was which was crazy stuff but super breakthrough we went there because
33:26
we weren't really sure post kids right first of all empty nesting is awesome right but we weren't really sure like
33:33
what the next 40 Years of our marriage looks like right we're hoping we're hoping to live a long happy life and so
33:39
we went there to try to do what you're talking about it's like right season changed right I'm not really a winter
33:44
guy we live in Montana but if you get if you let me travel and you let me go someplace warm then I'm then I'm a
33:51
little bit you know I can kind of get that balance and and maintain those things and me too and actually it's it's
33:58
kind of crazy because I used to be pissed off when I whenever I used to have to go move snow and I you know
34:04
because I'm like what a waste of time this is I just spent three hours moving
34:09
snow it's going to snow overnight and I get to do it all over again tomorrow so I had this just like bitter heart right
34:16
and and just every time it snowed I would kind of go down this road my kids stopped following me on social media
34:21
from from like October to to March because they knew I was going to post crabby things on on Facebook
34:28
which which is kind of funny but we went to this Counseling Center and I completely changed my ideology about the
34:34
blessings that we have and so now I go out I put you know I I put my headphones
34:40
on I put some worship music on and like I'm just thankful to be able to have the home we do be have a long driveway that
34:47
we have to shovel and and plow with the tractor and having the track being you know the trctor itself is a blessing
34:54
yeah but it's that it's that mental shift but like being able to go and do that deep work is something that really
34:59
helped us because then cuz she had this fear right it was we're always based on fear she had this fear that because of
35:06
this I was going to make her move to some place stupid like California which I I thankfully I would I have never done
35:14
um so you probably complained every winter I'm sure you complain you're like why do we live here I'm sure you asked
35:21
that question yeah yeah there's AAL there's a Calvin and Hobbs that Calvin and Hobs thing that gets posted why do I
35:27
live some where the wind where the air hurts my face but we do the same we do the same
35:33
thing and we as that and typically it's it's after a a big ice storm or like zero degree weather and then that's when
35:39
we're like why do we live here when it's that might happen a few days a year um
35:45
and but we asked that and uh but but I think it's like you the renewing the mind of of of changing that perspective
35:52
being thankful for the for the blessings that you have and your season changed it brought me back um to um a few years ago
36:00
I was able to step out of the business into what they call the owner's box so if you think of sports teams you know
36:06
typically the CEO the owner he's coaching the team right well I was able to actually hire a CEO and I Ste into
36:12
the owner's box this happened three or four years ago and I went from literally all in to not having anything to do and
36:18
that was a that was a difficult season because 16 or you know 14 years I'm running this business and then I'm
36:24
struggling with my own identity I'm like I don't know what to do and then we went through some counseling
36:30
with that because I was like what do I do I don't know who I am I don't know who I am anymore right no one calls me
36:37
no one asks me to do anything and we realize how much your identity gets wrapped into We complain about people
36:43
needing us and then when they don't need us we're like no one needs me you know and did that cause you to be more needy
36:50
with your family like you kind of expected her to take over you know take
36:56
over that role I think so and I kind of took all the leadership in my business
37:01
and I poured it into my family like we're going to do this and our family's going to be perfect and we're going to do this and homeschool and we're going
37:07
to travel the world it's going to be great and then she's like no we're not and I was like oh
37:13
crap can you go get a parttime job at l or something you be a
37:19
greeter get out of the house and so how did you transition into that like how did you um cuz yeah I mean it and we can
37:28
take it down to the very Basics which is if your identity is completely tied into what you do for a living you know
37:35
whether you're a whether you're the CEO owner or if you're an employee manager whatever I think men T tend to do that I
37:42
mean I know I do that 100% I think uh yeah I think it's it's this Balancing
37:47
Act of yeah wrapping your identity completely in it but it's like it's it's what we do but you know really just
37:53
shifting it to like I love number one I love to create I love to lead I love to
37:58
impact people's lives and that really kind of led me into you know more of this Men's Ministry of of iron deep so
38:05
like you know that's why retired people die because they don't have anything to do like you know that's Idle Hands are
38:11
not good um right so finding meaning finding purpose is is is very very
38:17
important so kind of led me into this into this uh into iron deep into the ministry and that's kind of you know
38:22
where we landed um but it's funny how then I started that and then my CEO took
38:27
another job so I'm back in the real estate too so now I'm balancing both things yeah kind of goes that way right
38:34
yeah and are you actively you're going to replace that place that you know it's
38:40
I think everything's a learning everything's a learning season um I took my hands completely off for about three
38:47
years and uh I think that was not maybe the best move I need to be involved I
38:52
think I need to be sharp you know goes back to iron sharpening iron if you don't if you're not engaged you lose
39:00
your sharpness and so it took me about 6 months to even get my SE legs back
39:05
because I was I was kind of not sharp anymore I was out of shape right it's like if you don't work out for six
39:11
months or three years you're going to struggle right um so it's kind of like
39:16
that so I would say yes I'm putting pieces in place right now to delegate more because that's my personality but I
39:23
don't see myself getting completely out in the owner's box anymore yeah I like that I think that that's
39:29
because I I think those of us that are entrepreneurs you just I love the creating process Michelle jokes and says
39:35
your hobby is literally creating new businesses yeah which is it's just you just create chaos and problems yeah
39:40
create chaos yeah that's that's like I was about to say I don't really recommend that because it's not it's not
39:46
necessarily um you know something that leads to great success but um let's talk more about the ministry I want to talk
39:52
more about like that transition and like how that got laid on your heart um kind
39:58
of how you went through that process of transitioning more into that like what
40:04
how what's your heart for Leading Men and how do you lead men in a from a Christian perspective like we you know
40:11
we we do the same thing you know events and Retreats and you know all that stuff we're working more towards that in
40:17
2024 but we don't do it from like hey this is a you know you're a you're the son of the Living God this is your
40:23
purpose this is how you lean into that but I'm trying to weave that spirituality
40:28
um from a Christian perspective into into that right and so there's this kind of this difference between you know this
40:33
is a definitive Men's Ministry where we can approach it like this and this is more of a you know my own Ministry
40:39
someone actually said hey look max out man is your ministry whether you want want it to want it to say it is or not
40:45
it's just not more formal right but I'm interested in that kind of how that transition happened because you're it's not like you're a lay Pastor that went
40:52
to Seminary and and all of those things so you're leading men as as what
40:57
probably is a lay Pastor type role um just talk about that there's a long that
41:03
wasn't really a question there but I'm just interested in kind of that whole process and how you view it and how it works and yeah yeah there's a lot of
41:11
great programs out there yours is a is an amazing program there's a lot of uh men's types of Ministries that that are
41:17
great great programs a lot of churches that are great um uh I think for me like I was I think
41:24
I was just kind of looking for something different
41:29
uh churches are great I go to church I don't always agree with how we do Church
41:35
in today's world um by being shoulder-to-shoulder and listening to content by one
41:41
person so you know we have small groups in church that's great then we got these
41:47
business groups that's good we learn about business um really I think for me it was just I was just searching for uh
41:53
just a depth to it all I was searching for um you know a deeper Brotherhood uh guys
42:00
that I could uh that I could really uh you know do life with that I could
42:06
celebrate with that I could just tell anything to with absolutely no judgment
42:11
nothing at all and they would they would be there and and that's really that's
42:18
the desire for iron deep uh just building that Brotherhood um that's uh
42:23
it's tough right because it takes takes time um you know you asked about how do we how do we get there we kind of start
42:29
off with the men's Awakening and this is a three-day intensive Retreat uh we've had a couple of those in the mountains
42:34
so we typically sleep Under One Roof uh so you're you know you think
42:40
about your old youth days maybe Church camp Retreats things like that this is this is some but this is you know 30 40
42:46
50 year old 60 year old guys we're we're sleeping Under One Roof we're doing life
42:51
together breaking bread together we're going through some programs we're doing small groups we're doing some alone time in the mountains and it is a it is a
42:57
Christian uh Retreat to find your identity a lot of it's just wrapped into that identity of what who the father
43:03
says you are who do you think he is um who do you think each other are and um a
43:09
lot of it is is is wrapped into that and uh and then with this iron core we go deeper into three areas the number one
43:16
is our faith number two is our family and how do we lead that well and then number three is our businesses because
43:21
God designed us to be business I'm not a pastor I didn't go to Seminary school um
43:26
but I think right if you from a Biblical perspective none of the disciples did either and I think we just need more
43:32
people just to do it out of the passion of their hearts not to get paid for it nothing against that but I just think uh
43:39
I just think that's where we're going and I think maybe iron Deep's offering something maybe the church isn't right
43:46
now uh that that a lot of churches aren't and uh the response has been overwhelmingly um good and I think and
43:55
I'm trying to put my finger on and I think maybe it's just because you know we're all looking for that community of
44:02
like-minded guys that know what each other's going through and and that's just what it is
44:09
and so again it's business guys so they have a different perspective on on their life versus maybe someone else that that
44:17
doesn't run a business um and we're all looking for that that Brotherhood that group and uh if you
44:23
don't have that that's what I'm looking for and I was like and I was trying to like find it and I couldn't quite find
44:30
it so I'm go create it I guess so yeah I was like I'm going to I'm going to create this and and and it's no better
44:35
or worse than anything else out there it's just it's just it's almost this
44:41
environment of raw honesty come as you are let's love each other as we are let's Challenge and celebrate each other
44:48
and let's just do it together and it's just guys loving on Mission together so um the three areas we really focus on
44:53
are are again faith family and business and uh so that's that's just what it is yeah I found I found it really difficult
45:00
like I said earlier is you know to try to find my people and so that's what you need to be with your with your people
45:07
and your you know the buzzword right now is tribe um which is whatever but you
45:12
know you want you want to be with other men that share similar backgrounds and
45:18
demographics and day-to- day and all those because then that Faith aspect of it gets wrapped into that part of your
45:25
identity mhm um someone made the comment to me which I I wanted to punch them you know in
45:32
Jesus name we'll say um but they made they made a statement
45:38
that like look we're all in church together we all we all love Jesus and so we should all be really connected and
45:44
I'm like no that's not true like I I because I I just can't connect there are
45:50
certain people that I'm not going to be able to connect with on on a very deep level right like I can connect over
45:57
being a Christian and you know all of those things that wrapped up into that but if I want to talk about what it's
46:02
like on a daily basis to be an entrepreneur and try to wrap my faith into that and try to lead a a you know a
46:09
god L life it it's very very difficult because I don't I can't look around our church we have a pretty small church and
46:16
say hey that guy I know is going through the same crap I am because there aren't any guys like that in my in my area um
46:24
or in my church anyway there are definitely those in my area so you're able to create this environment to where
46:29
men are literally just surrounded by other men like them right which which probably opens up that that Gateway in
46:37
order to deeper Converse yeah we can just have different conversations and you can have different conversations in
46:43
in business groups but let's just say hey what's your goal for this month um I
46:49
want to cut down 500,000 in debt that topic probably didn't go well
46:54
in the small group they're like what huh what are you doing right y or the or the faith right uh you
47:00
know um man I'm just I'm I'm struggling I'm you know uh I'm uh I want to really
47:06
just dig into intim intimacy with the father and uh that might not go over well with the business group so really just kind of like um like-minded
47:14
Brothers uh you know getting together and I think I was trying to identify again just so it's part of getting
47:21
together but it's also part of raising up the intensity and I think that you know I know you're a big Fitness guy I'm
47:28
sure you know you do TR maybe there's tribes that you work out with uh the CrossFit Community obviously is blown up
47:34
there's other groups and community of Fitness groups um blowing up I go to my church I just got from this morning we
47:40
got 20 guys that show up we work out together nice and there's something about that it raises up the intensity
47:46
when you're doing things together or doing something on Mission type of together and I always related it back to
47:53
maybe like the military or guys that um are going into battle
47:59
together uh there's this unspeakable bond that most of them would die for
48:04
yeah the other one right um so you look at that and you're like what is it about
48:12
that and uh and that's what I've been thinking even with with iron deep in our iron Core group is the you you think
48:18
about all the guys movies typically it's because there's men on Mission together men want meaning they want purpose they
48:24
want Mission they want to do something as impactful that has meaning and that's really uh what we're
48:31
what we're all about what we're trying to do together for for in a faith perspective for the Kingdom so um yeah
48:37
def that's a great I mean that's a great mission to be on and having that and having those parallel paths between business Mission and you know family
48:44
marriage all those things because all that fits together you know we talk about man marriage and Mission and those
48:49
are you know we all have different pillars right that we work through and but part of the mission part of it is
48:55
you know what your faith looks like your you know what's your purpose what's your legacy all of those things yeah and you
49:01
know we as Christian men have a have a little bit of a a not a different one but we have that we have that side of us
49:09
that we can wrap into that and the good news is is we have a pretty good book that tells us how to do that and we have
49:15
we have support you know in order to do that from from you know from God and all
49:21
that and it's like you it really just blows down to just the intentionality and uh
49:27
if we never drift towards better we never drift towards a good marriage we always drift towards
49:33
selfishness which relates into division of you and your wife you never drift
49:39
towards just this amazing dad you never drift towards this entrepreneur you never drift towards um God honestly
49:48
because you got the Flesh and the spirit because you got your own desires your own selfishness I want what I want I want it now and Brett gets the glory
49:55
that's really my flesh and there constant Battle of that so uh but to
50:02
have that group that that kind of knows that and and to support each other with that and and just to be really
50:08
intentional again it's not just we're not we're not going just to hang out just to be a social club like there's
50:14
some of that but you can get that at your country club but we're going there for a purpose we're going to be intentional we're going to help each
50:20
other grow we're going to be on Mission that's who's here and if you don't want that then that's the country club
50:28
so yeah which you know honestly it's much more fulfilling and and to have to have all of those things and just go and
50:34
hitting golf balls and you know whatever so yeah and I would guess that that's something that makes it easier for the
50:40
men to open up and to really kind of delve into some of those things that they don't share anywhere else and I and
50:47
I and I realize that that's kind of a process for sure there's other thing too there's there's there's the organic guys
50:53
hang out called and that's obviously part of that too but in my experience that just doesn't
51:00
happen very well in my experience maybe because I'm not as intentional but I get busy I'm task oriented I'm running this
51:08
thing I'm running my business and I forget to call so it's nice to have a scheduled rhythm of getting together of
51:15
a structure for me that's what I have desired um because if I don't it just
51:22
doesn't happen like for working out for example if you don't have a plan and you just wake up like I don't know what I'm going to do it just don't happen right
51:29
yeah yeah that intentionality thing is really important because you know as men I think especially as entrepreneurs will
51:35
always find something else to do yeah um and then it's this balance between legalistic approach to those you know
51:42
and the buzzword is or the big word is spiritual disciplines right is versus being legalistic about it versus like
51:49
having a genuine heart to do it and I I tend to rebel against legalism side of
51:54
things like if you tell me oh well you have to be doing your Bible time every day for 30 minutes or whatever like I'm going to rebel against that but if you
52:01
say Hey you know be in the presence of God all day be thankful practice
52:06
gratitude those things that I do then I feel much more connected yeah than that
52:11
and you know to your point again there's nothing like you know western church is an interesting place uh these days and
52:19
and there are times that go on Sunday and I'm like I feel worse after church than I did before I went to church right
52:25
and that's not a great place to be obviously but I think that that all that to say we need groups like what you're
52:31
discussing and what you're running and have have led with in order to be able to have that connection um yeah I'm
52:38
curious about something that we've talked about in the past you know in my own groups and family and all that is
52:44
this sort of like being a wealthy business owner as it relates to our
52:51
faith and and Christianity because I think sometimes it's easy and I know my wife has this way we're not we're not
52:57
rich right we're not at all we're moderately successful upper middle class
53:03
but there have been times when she has been like I feel sometimes I feel trep trepidation in inviting people over to
53:10
our home um because because she feels almost guilty about having success and I I you
53:18
know this is this kind of an off the off thebeat question but I'm kind of curious about your thoughts about that cuz
53:24
you're I would venture to say you're much more financially you're more financially successful which is fine
53:30
like I love that cuz we I can learn from you on this but but that seems to be like this judgmental thing with
53:37
Christian with Christians to say well you know must be nice right like that's that's the great phrase and how that
53:44
kind of gets wrapped up I will say that I General my own house I built this
53:49
house I didn't frame it but I did you know 6% of the work and no no one knows
53:55
that is your is your wife telling that during her tour no she doesn't she doesn't say by the way my husband built
54:01
this and we saved half the money yeah well she did it too like we put in all the wood floors together we put the tile
54:07
in we actually right now we're building a 3,400 foot shop by ourselves the two
54:12
of us did all that and so this this sh this shed that's 3,400 foot that could
54:18
have cost half a million maybe cost 150 Grand you know so but you know that this
54:23
whole like you know the popper and being being poor and the Widow's might and all
54:28
these things that we kind of wrap that up and then you have Solomon who was you know the richest man on Earth by a
54:35
hundred times of any wealth that we have now I'm just you know as a successful business guy and a Believer how are you
54:40
what do you think about all that stuff yeah yeah yeah I think everything just kind of flows to the heart so I think
54:46
it's just a it's just a heart posture and uh I I think that uh I think it's
54:52
whatever the purpose is behind it uh if if your purpose is to have have a a nice
54:57
home that you can have a the spiritual gift of hospitality and to bring people in and and to have them feel at home uh
55:06
and to serve them uh I think that's that's an amazing thing um and if you live in a beautiful area and you're
55:12
around God's creation because you love the nature and and and everything that that provides and you have land with it
55:18
I think that's that's awesome um and uh um so I think uh I I think it's just you
55:26
know for me the perspective is it's just all all his his anyways I think it's just what's the heart posture behind it
55:32
what's the purpose behind it and uh um because we can all we can all go down
55:37
that that particular road so so yeah when you invest into something or buy
55:43
something yeah what's just what's the purpose behind it so I I can't remember and I can barely see it but I think it
55:49
oh it's like Joshua what does that say Joshua wait maybe it says John 12 and there's
55:57
there's I have this over my desk that's why I'm looking over there but it says basically what if I start thinking that
56:03
I did all this I'm missing the point yeah right and and that's like the that's the thing I try to to remind
56:09
myself because yeah God's given me certain skills knowledge intelligence Network whatever those blessings are but
56:16
if I see that as if hey this is something I've done and I forget the fact that it's really all his anyway then that that gets pretty that gets a
56:23
little bit derailing for sure yeah yeah but I but I get it I mean I uh you know
56:28
I've been down that I think I've been down that road I probably lean more towards um your wife's heart probably right I
56:35
mean I I drive probably I drive a beater truck I our house is nice but it's
56:41
definitely not uh it's it could probably we could afford more right and uh but I
56:46
probably ins something inside of me says oh but I you know I shouldn't because I don't want to be a show off
56:53
right yeah well neither NE neither do I because I'm a DIY guy so like if you look around this house I didn't hire
57:00
anybody to do 90% of what you see when you look when you look around it and so which I can take I can take pride in
57:07
that to say yeah we have nice things but we also did it right like you know I probably would have lean more towards
57:13
doing and not doing any of it and hiring it all yeah it's it's a good balance
57:19
Welly I want to be respectful of your time I'm curious what kind of advice that you would give to Men Christian or
57:24
not that are kind of struggling in these are is that you're that you're working on concentrating on um kind of a couple
57:30
pieces of advice for them before we wrap up yeah I would say uh I I don't think that
57:39
we as men reflect uh and our still and reflect that much we don't really we
57:45
just go we just do we go we get in the weeds and we wake up 5 years 10 years 20
57:52
years later and we just started ask why do I why did I do that what what what was the what was the point what I really
57:58
even want I don't know what I wanted um so I think it's just take some time and just start writing out uh you know your
58:05
desires Christian not Christian what are what are some of your desires uh what are some of your dreams um you know what
58:12
do you want the next five years to look like look at the five years so one of the one of the things that we might do
58:17
is hey five years my daughter's going to be 22 my son's going to be getting his driver's license he's he's you know 11 now he's what do I want these what do I
58:25
want this to really to look like and I'm more of a relational guy so it's like I want to make sure I connect my
58:30
family I want to make sure that we're connecting so what do I have to do to to to do that so just taking some time to
58:37
reflect and and just be honest with yourself like you know where really are you uh what's the reality and maybe you
58:44
need some help with that maybe you need some guys to help you to with your reality probably a couple things you can
58:50
do is look at your bank statements that's probably going to give you a little bit of a reality of what you're spending your money on M uh the three
58:57
you know to know priorities you know you need to ask yourself how do you spend your time so check your calendar how do
59:03
you spend your money and then what do you think about mostly those are that's the most important things in your life whatever whatever that looks like so
59:09
that's how you can get radically gon with yourself um so be radical for yourself and then where do you want to go yeah yeah where do you want to go so
59:18
I love it well the book uh is the secret War within which I I said upfront that I'd listen to maybe a third of it and so
59:26
I'm gonna and what's funny is that I was listening to it at at kind of faster speed because I got the audio version you sent me that nice book um but I at
59:35
at at some point I'm like look I feel like I'm prepared enough to be able to have this conversation but I want to go back and listen to this book again at at
59:43
normal speed so I can Garner more from it I think it's it's very well written I
59:48
love the allegory um storyline of it because it's not like you know preachy
59:54
it's very reminded me a little bit like and this is more of a woowoo book but there was some weird stuff The Shack
1:00:01
right the shack had kind of this storyline aspect of it and uh anyway
1:00:06
it's a great book so the secret War within you can go to iron deep.com you can I'm it's available on Amazon and
1:00:12
Audi book and all these things it's great it's a great read um you are formally invited to come to a men's
1:00:17
retreat in Montana in the summertime uh if you want we can we can collab we can collab on that a little bit Yeah but uh
1:00:23
yeah so how else anything else you want to share how we find you no I don't think so like I said if you're
1:00:29
interested in uh you know what we're doing check out iron deep.com uh you can contact us just through the website or
1:00:35
my email is Brett brir deep.com our events are on there uh
1:00:41
books on there so so check that out we also have the podcast uh you can you can check that out the iron D podcast as
1:00:46
well and uh yeah look forward to chatting if you're interested awesome thanks Brad have a good day all right
1:00:51
thanks Kevin if you're looking to really maximize your life and become the man
1:00:57
you were made to be head over to maxed out man.com and get your journey started
1:01:06
today.