Episode 36 - Don't Let your Ego Get Bigger than the Good Part of Your Soul - Marques Ogden

Former NFL player Marcus Ogden shares his journey of success, failure, and personal growth. He emphasizes the importance of overcoming ego, taking personal responsibility, and being accountable for one's actions. Ogden also discusses the challenges of navigating relationships, the benefits of therapy, and the impact of divorce. He provides valuable insights on maximizing personal growth and offers coaching and consulting services to help individuals achieve fulfillment and success.

Takeaways

• Overcoming ego and taking personal responsibility are crucial for personal growth and success.
• Therapy can provide a safe space to process emotions and make better decisions.
• Empathy, compassion, and active listening are essential qualities for building strong relationships.
• Maximizing personal growth requires hiring a coach, being accountable, and having difficult conversations.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Technical Difficulties

01:05 Background and Goals

04:03 The Impact of Ego

08:21 Overcoming Ego and Taking Responsibility

11:28 The Challenges of Personal Responsibility

13:55 The Influence of Social Media and Instant Gratification

15:13 The Importance of Accountability and Response

17:42 The Benefits of Therapy

20:23 Navigating Relationships and Conflict

23:00 The Physiological Effects of Stress

24:25 Lessons from a Single Father

27:33 The Impact of Divorce

31:58 Maximizing Personal Growth

35:18 How to Connect with Marcus Ogden
 

About Marques:

Marques Ogden is a former NFL player who is now an inspirational keynote speaker. He's also the founder and CEO of Ogden Ventures LLC, three-time best-selling author (Sleepless Nights; The Success Cycle), business coach and consultant and the podcast host of Authenticity With Marques Ogden; although his journey didn't come easy or without unrelenting adversity. After retiring from football, Marques pursued a career in construction and contracting. At 27, he founded a construction company with fast growth but eventually went bankrupt, losing almost two million dollars on one project in 90 days.

He pulled himself together during his darkest hours and got a part-time job as a custodian. Marques rose to the top again with hard work and determination, using his struggles as inspiration to blaze his own trail forward. Now, he shares his powerful story to help others learn how to fail forward and achieve success in their lives. Marques' story and insights as a thought leader have been featured in top publications such as USA Today, Forbes, Cheddar News and Authority Magazine. As a speaker, he's landed jobs with over 40 Fortune 500 companies and over 15 Fortune 100 companies like Amazon, Goldman Sachs, Intel, JPMorgan Chase and Home Depot. As a podcast host, he's interviewed iconic guests such as Michael Strahan, Joe Namath and Willie Parker Jr. Marques hopes to continue reaching new levels in his professional career and positively impacting as many people's lives as possible through doing what he loves; speaking on stage and sharing his experiences and knowledge with others.

https://marques360.com/

*audio note - we had some interference in the signal. We've edited it out as best we can, but the audio quality is lower than our other episodes.

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Transcript

0:00
[Music] welcome to maxed out man helping you
0:06
become the man you were made to be hey guys this is Kevin Davis from the
0:11
max out man podcast this is episode number 36 I'm with Marcus Ogden Marcus
0:16
is a former NFL player and he is now an inspirational keynote speaker across the
0:22
world three-time bestselling author and he hosts a podcast get authentic with
0:27
Marcus Ogden uh Marcus I appreciate you taking the time to be here had a little bit of technical snafu I just be full
0:34
disclosure on that so I appreciate you kind of bearing with me on that after all these podcasts you think I'd know
0:40
better what I'm doing but we're all just kind of making this up as we go along at least on my side so margus thanks for
0:45
being here I appreciate you tell us uh you know kind of give us your background what it is that you do how you got there
0:52
um and kind of what your goal is uh with all of this in that you do yeah so I'm
0:58
from Washington DC I live in Hina North Carolina about half hour outside of
1:04
Raleigh I am divorced recently I am the father of two beautiful girls a 19-year-old that is in his saling NYU
1:12
and a nine-year-old I am a national International pemo speaker deput coach
1:17
trainer four-time best-selling author I am also a brand ambassador business
1:22
owner and also the host of the get authentic with marus a podcast we are
1:28
ranked in the top one % most popular worldwide we are almost in the top half
1:34
percent worldwide most popular but at the end of the day what I'm really about Kevin is helping people know how to take
1:41
control of their life and be accountable be responsible and don't let their ego
1:46
getting way from them living what I call a very fulfilled and prosperous life
1:52
because I live my ego get in the way in 2013 I lost everything and I crashed and
1:59
burned in September in April of 2013 yeah so you you kind of um and I
2:07
know from looking at your material for coaching and and what you do for Consulting that your main your main kind
2:14
of thing is don't make the same mistakes that I made and learn from my my failures which is kind of what I'm
2:19
trying to do I've been married for 28 years I'm 50 years old and you know I I
2:25
have a great a lot amount of success now in my life would I Define a success but failed along the way and I'm I'm hoping
2:31
for people to avoid that along the way as well yeah of course I mean great teachers are all about sharing with
2:38
their students with their followers people that they're serving their mistakes their Journey their ups and
2:46
downs to help others not make those mistakes now again we're all human beings we're gonna all make mistakes
2:53
plain and simple but what I try to do I try to tell people learn from my
2:58
mistakes so you don't end up being as catastrophic with your mistake as I was
3:04
with mine when my Hess were closed on both cars repossess in the same day move
3:09
to $400 to my name H fire from two do in the same week I mean all these things
3:16
happen to me because my ego got in the way yeah and we talked a little bit
3:22
about when before we started recording we talk about you joining the NFL at 22 right and kind of how that process
3:28
happened um how did that ego manifest itself and kind of what were the you we
3:33
know the repercussions are kind of the failures and and everything you just described but how did that process happen what what was the Catalyst great
3:41
question K so what happened is as my Construction Company PA into Enterprises that are having massive success I became
3:50
what I call very much focused on external motivating factors money things
3:57
riy car hard drinking all those things and I lost sight of who I was as a man
4:05
humble man grateful man to get to that point I treat my team correctly with
4:11
respect dignity and all these other things but because I got so focused on
4:17
those external motivating factors and I got so focused on everybody liking me W
4:22
to know me and being big shot Mak all funny it put me in a spot where my I had
4:29
AR that exaggerated glorified opinions literally got bigger than the good part
4:35
of my soul and I tell my clients when your eego gets bigger than the good part
4:41
of your soul you are screwed and that's what happen to me and again I have also
4:47
most saying if you're not ready to handle success success will hand you your ass and exactly what it did to me
4:55
and I lost everything because my got inflated and it was really really in a
5:01
place where I just would not know who I need to be is it kind of like you know I just had this vision of you know those
5:07
old cartoons where you got the little uh you know you got the little devil on this shoulder and then little angel on this show you kind of got ego and the
5:13
good part of your soul is that kind of what you're kind Continuum oh yeah of course of course that's like as you make
5:20
more money your good size get bigger and should want to help more people want to give more but in my case
5:27
more money I made the devil got big because I was all about me we call those the personality ethics rage wrath lust
5:36
Envy greed you have the character ethics love truth honesty Humanity as I made
5:43
more money the personality ethic especially greed and uh self-absorption
5:50
took over as a result of that par it'll it put me in a spot where I crash first
5:58
yeah cuz they they say about money right money is an amplifier money is not a a Creator necessarily you know money
6:05
whether if you're if you're kind of a a dick and you're a poor one you're probably gonna be a dick if you're a
6:12
rich one right like and that's that's that's where we start and what people like yourself are doing is trying to
6:18
help people take that and learn to more embrace the good part of their soul to
6:26
overcome sort of our natural you know nature that tends to lean more towards
6:31
what you're saying greed and lust and and all those right correct because what happens is if you're not in a position
6:38
of realizing where you're headed or heading and you can't stop yourself like
6:44
me I had no idea until I was literally broke almost homeless out of Baltimore
6:51
in Raleigh that I really got to that point because of my eego I thought I got
6:57
to that point because I spent a lot of money on one job and was denied my chain
7:03
order by the developing the contractor and in reality it was all things I did
7:09
up to that pushing away my best employee getting where I wasn't helping anybody
7:15
it being SM is all about themselves all these things as a result that's how I
7:21
ended up than up of course the job would have done it against you but if I hadn't push my best employees and my best
7:30
maybe I could have been smarter and not spent all that money not ended up going
7:36
off the r off the W yeah because what you're describing is really being overleveraged right like that's a b
7:43
that's a business term you're overleveraged financially um you're overleveraged you know from a team
7:49
standpoint because you had you had leveraged those team members to a point where they were no longer effective um
7:56
you know a lot of people that are listening to this may not be into you know
8:01
multi-million dollar businesses or in the NFL or you know any of these kind of major external factors that people can
8:09
look at and say oh that's just a a rich guy problem or that's just a famous guy
8:14
problem or whatever but how does that how would you think it how would you describe it to the average everyday
8:21
person how this process can work and what that might look like in their own lives because most people that are
8:27
listening to this probably don't follow you know first of all most people in general don't fall right so here's the
8:32
thing right this works for anybody because here's the thing I started that
8:37
business right from scratch like I didn't inherit it I didn't like say oh
8:43
here is this com no we started working as a small concrete contractor our first
8:50
year in buiness get probably about 50 Grand right at most so it doesn't matter
8:56
if it's eight figures or it's 50 Grand or if it's 10 grand it doesn't matter
9:02
right the rule of thumb is this is the Great rule by Jack Canfield be 100%
9:08
accountable and responsible for your life no matter what another another
9:13
great Jack Jack Hand equation right if event plus response equals outcome
9:21
everything in life is an event job relationship moving here doing this
9:26
trying to lose weight whatever everything could be is an right but what Jack said is so true you
9:32
can control three things it comes to your response your thoughts your
9:39
behavior your images so what you tell yourself is your thought right what you
9:45
can see for yourself are your images how you act is your behavior if you can
9:51
control those three things you have the best chance to control the outcome so if you're listening in life you're going to
9:59
always have in you're going to always have that main stage opportunity doesn't
10:04
matter how big it's fall it could be broad lights on it could be uh Big Bright Lights On Broadway it could be
10:10
you just working you know as a custodian like I did from 10 p.m until 5 a. for
10:19
$825 an hour doesn't matter right the thing is when the event comes how you
10:25
respond to it to your images thoughts and here plus how you are able to prep
10:32
yourself can determine your outcome if you're listening when an event presents itself control your thoughts your images
10:40
your behavior that will give you the best chance with the outcome that you desire do you think that that's
10:47
something you know with with the whole ego battle and taking personal responsibility we do some marriage
10:52
mentoring and and you know different things where we work you know kind of as lay pastors lay ministers and and and
10:59
what we see and one of the difficulties we see especially with people kind of I don't know 30 and under but I think this
11:06
is this is a a something we see all over do you think this is something that's becoming more and more difficult for
11:12
people to take that personal responsibility like you're like you're talking about or is it is it like nature
11:18
versus nurture um you know because it seems like to me I'm a 50-year-old old
11:23
guy you know that that the more of the younger generation especially with social media or what ever is having
11:30
difficulty with that whole concept right so I think it's really really important
11:36
right and so a whole facet you said it death right at the end of the day
11:42
there's so many other factors outside social media you know everybody wants inst gratification self validation
11:49
quickly dating apps all these things right there wasn't that stuff when you would come up there weren't dating app
11:55
there wasn't social media there wasn't Twitter or X there wasn't you know Instagram or Facebook or Bumble or
12:03
Tender like it wasn't all these things people had to actually go out and people
12:09
and N work and hand out business cards and go to events and make phone calls
12:15
and we finally got the computer you know send emails and all these things you don't have that today so is it harder
12:22
yes because it's a much easier world just to get what you want or hear what
12:28
you want instant things and because of that I feel a lot of people aren't going
12:33
to be what I call honest with themselves like for me my marit you know it didn't
12:39
work out is it All My Ex's fault nope not a chance I wish I would have been
12:44
better communication early on I wish I would have known how to deal with stress especially Financial as I was trying to
12:51
go through the bankruptcy and losing every day I wish I would have gotten better at not talking to people that we
12:58
knew right about problems you know and open things up our marriage because you
13:03
know I was scared and I didn't know how to talk to my ex and I didn't know how to communicate and I would told the
13:09
people that we both knew and back to her that would cause a problem so I was I
13:14
perfect absolutely not and I own that right now there are things that she did that wasn't perfect either but the end
13:20
of the day here we are we're divorce it's fine on November 2nd and that is the mother of my child and again it's no
13:26
ill will I mean what it is right moved on but again I'm not gonna sit here and say well it was all her fault she did
13:33
everything WR no I'm not gonna say that that's not the truth so again it's people have to take that personal
13:40
accountability and then be personally responsible to their mission of trying to actually be real be accountable and I
13:49
think if you do that it's going to work in my new relationship my with my girlfriend Glenda you know we have hard
13:55
conversations I was talking to one of my good friends his daughters 30 I said how's it going with her dating that guy
14:01
oh it's done like you know after like you know four days five dates you know they don't want to they don't want to
14:06
commit they don't want to have hard conversations they want to move on and go have fun and he was saying the same thing in the world today it's easy to do
14:14
that why oh I don't like you I don't want to talk about anything real I'm just g go on Tinder and swipe right or swipe left I'm just gonna go on Bumble
14:20
and say yeah let's connect I mean because it's easier to do that than to have the hard conversation with somebody
14:26
and try to actually move past will be called that honeymoon phase into like real relationship and that's right so
14:35
unfortunately it's it's not just the age it's the things around in today's world
14:42
that I feel Mak it harder say you know what I need to be more accountable I be
14:47
more responsible and if I'm not hitting my target what about how about take as
14:53
Aristotle said I believe was take your thumb and point it back at you don't
14:58
take your finger point at somebody else hey guys thanks for listening to this episode I hope you're enjoying it and
15:03
learning a lot if you're looking for extra help don't forget that I do offer one-on-one coaching we can talk through
15:09
a ton of different issues I can give you guides guidelines and logistical help to
15:15
help you take that next step or go to that next level in some of the things that you're dealing with in your life we
15:20
also have some course content some guides uh and a lot of educational
15:25
materials over at maxed out man.com for coaching go ahead and go to MaxOut man.com coaching and you can learn about
15:32
that and then just go to maxed out man.com for everything else thanks for joining us now back to the episode yeah
15:38
that's I mean that personal responsibility thing works in in both directions Dr Gary Chapman who wrote the
15:43
five love languages which is a very popular kind of concept he he did a
15:48
video that we watch and this is like mid 90s where he starts talking about he's having he's doing premarital counseling
15:54
with this young couple and he asked them well how how do you guys deal with conflict and he said they they basically
16:00
look at each other like they have no idea what he's talking about what do you mean conflict we're in love how what is
16:07
there ever going to be conflict how do we deal we don't have to deal with that because we're always going to be perfect right everything's going to be great um
16:13
but he talks about um in a in a relationship when you have conflict you each have built brick walls of your own
16:21
bricks and he talks about the only thing you can do is to remove the bricks on your side and then they have to remove
16:28
the bricks on their side so that then you can begin to be together so having that personal responsibility we're
16:33
talking about it right now with my wife Michelle she's dealing with the situation and and it's you know she kind
16:39
of had to do some boundary setting and she had to to kind of change some of this relationship with this person and
16:47
and now they're not responding to her they they're kind of ignoring her and kind of doing their own thing you know
16:53
they may be processing it but I said hey all you can do is be responsible for what you put out there in a loving kind
17:01
and responsible way and you can't be responsible for how they respond to you because she internalizes that uh the the
17:08
podcast I listened to was with Trish Kendall and I know and and you guys talked about um therapy and I I found it
17:15
really interesting and kind of poignant for the audience that I have because if I'm talking to a bunch of men 35 Plus
17:22
and you say therapy what you know their their usual response is oh no way I
17:27
don't you know I don't do that right and and talk a little bit about that and kind of how you teach people to think
17:34
about that and approach that so therapy is a way to get out your emotions in a
17:42
safe place where you don't end up carrying them and push off of somebody
17:47
else I heard somebody say this if you don't transform your trauma you will
17:53
transmit I had therapy on Monday about my divorce and getting like a failure
18:00
and you know my man here man what happen why is life now I'm in a much better
18:07
place than I ever was right because I it like you I was not with the right person
18:13
wasn't it's sometimes it's hard to own that who really is and my pastor who
18:19
actually is the pastor for the retired Raven uh chapter players good friend of
18:25
mine Cory Smith Cory said going a ton of right now this is normal have to process
18:32
it you know I I I love my girlfriend still you have to process what happen th
18:38
and so what I hope people are listening understand is that therapy is not something where you have to go and spill
18:45
your cuts out if that's what you don't want to do to kind of get where you need to go it's all about you being to say
18:50
what you need to say to work for you every day like me I asked my some pretty
18:56
tough questions on Monday about relationships and where I'm at and say oh man no like this is totally normal
19:02
that's acceptable you're at this place you know you're going to I told said man look had that hard conversation with my
19:09
girlfriend I like I was G to call another girl and and hang out with her and make that and he's like well yeah
19:15
that's what you can do but like what's that gonna do for you is that gonna be easier it's like no I'm like right it's
19:21
not so know what I find in therapy is just another way another outlet for talk
19:28
somebody that is trained in how to help me do full emotions Hard Times make
19:35
decisions that aren't what I call Rash so again look at therapy that regard you
19:42
should say okay with the open mind with the open heart and say you know what let me try to work through my problems and
19:48
once I get that that's when things act better and how do you contract yeah so
19:54
my wife and I we've been to I don't go to personal therapy now I have in the the past um I have some coaching which I
20:00
want to ask you about but um we've gone to five or six times over the course of
20:05
28 years as what what we call it as tuneups you know where it's like hey we're we're facing this challenge um our
20:12
kids are 25 and 28 or 25 and 23 22 um when they got ready to leave the
20:19
house we weren't sure kind of what that future looked like so we went and did some did some counseling there to kind of talk through it and kind of figure
20:25
out what the next steps were we've actually done an on Insight like dedicated
20:30
weeklong you know therapy Retreat which I highly recommend if you ever need to
20:35
go through that kind of stuff but you know it's it's definitely something that can make a huge difference and I I think
20:41
men in general are are kind of afraid of it because they they feel like like you said you got to go and spill your guts
20:48
and all that yeah you gotta open up and nobody most men don't like to open up
20:53
but I learned from my dad when you're a man you can open up and fine you know I
20:59
mean it's you know it's it's really you know be who you are you know I mean and
21:04
just you know let those emotions out to the be that you want to and but you get you keep them boled up inside it
21:12
internalizes causes stress CA anxiety you I think my love my dad my dad had me
21:18
in therapy and my dad didn't be therapy you know for after divorce for a short time he stopped and I think my dad he
21:26
died from C C died but I think my dad really di a broken heart and also the
21:31
fact that he carried so many emotions with me from being married to my mom I
21:37
able dealt with that fully to trying to figure out how to become a better better provider uh to be engaged somebody fell
21:44
through uh I mean my dad just had a lot boy care of him you know and I think
21:50
that was hard for him being got us but we kept pay his money my brother bought a car I help pay mortgage you know I
21:57
help give money money and all these things and I don't think my dad ever really learned how to deal with all that
22:04
salt up I feeling during all that pressure caring all that
22:09
stress he died at 57 right so yeah he's young know so all these things I L has
22:19
some like that but I think my dad never got help that
22:24
internalize what he need to do self heal better about when was life and I think
22:30
that along health issues things like that really took me down so the NFL
22:36
actually pays for our fair right so again even I was that important but
22:42
again they want players to go and get health they want to go and talk to
22:47
issues and not be in condition they're always internalizing
22:54
or yeah like in your dad's case what I think a lot of people don't realize is that there is a physiological response
23:01
to stress and you know the big the big hormone they talk about is cortisol and
23:07
cortisol um you know it creates all sorts of issues and you know actually
23:12
makes you fat that's one of the things it does because that midsection for men it actually contributes to the adapost
23:19
tissue around your midsection but it can also it just that it's just this heightened level of fight or flight that
23:26
you don't even realize that you're facing and so in your dad CA dad's case and with so many men it's like hey we're
23:32
going to stuff that stuff way down inside and unfortunately it almost it it
23:37
can Fester so you need that outlet in order to in order to get that out and
23:42
I'm I'm curious I know you in this other podcast you had said that you grew up with a single father uh I think our moms
23:49
would have gotten along well based on what you said in just those those few little minutes because I have that I I
23:55
actually had to kind of sever relationships with her because of that but how did your dad navigate treat you
24:01
know you have brothers you said so how did he navigate kind of walking you through this how to be a man process um
24:11
because we talk a lot about masculinity on here and um fatherhood and
24:16
husbandhow did he navigate that so he really was great at being our best
24:22
friend our provider in our cuture and just me and my brother John who's also NFL football Hall of Fame and we learn
24:30
from him how to be self-sufficient cook for ourselves do our own laund enry
24:35
clean up our house do all the things pay the deals all that we also learned how to be educated learned how to respect
24:42
women how to respect ourselves we learned about fatherhood we learned about how to really be a great friend to
24:48
people and our dad is led by example I mean that's what what it was I mean you had by example and what was really great
24:55
is that my mom's parents so my maternal grandparents were close to my dad they
25:01
were actually closer to my dad they were my mom their own daughter our parents divorc our grandparents sided with my
25:09
dad and that also showed me how to work with people and how to have a strong
25:16
bond with people because I said you know my dad was no longer the son-in-law my dad to them was still this son OFW me my
25:23
grandfather would literally love my dad to the like you know they were best
25:29
friends and they were great and all even my parents were boed my grandparents really stay close to my D so my point is
25:36
is that you know my dad TS a lot about things example how he interacted how he
25:41
car himself and that showed me and my brother how to go about doing things in
25:47
that regard you know unfortunately for me I don't have that relationship with my uh former in-laws um you know which
25:54
is fine you know I mean real will but I you know there just it's just there's too many things that happened in our
26:00
marriage that that's just not possible and so look I don't want my daughter not stup I'm not I'm not I'm not that guy
26:07
but like I said I've learned how to P things you I don't have to have this PO
26:13
I'm not gonna keep my grand my daughter from my grandparents so I learned that from my dad I learned how to you know
26:18
compromise from my dad I learned how to know be a better you know listener from my dad so my dad was really big not just
26:26
on telling us what to but showing up the actions I mean that's that's how you do
26:33
it right like teaching by example and in in your dad CA dad's case which I think is so so often true he may have not
26:41
practiced what he preached necessarily in terms of dealing with some of those emotions and kind of teaching you guys
26:48
how to do that as a kid myself of being you know they call it adult child of
26:53
divorce parents um but I learned or did didn't learn specific things about
26:59
marriage and fatherhood and those kind of things and we've never been divorced we actually had a time when we kind of
27:05
started going down that road but married for 28 years what things how did that shape your because I think you know just
27:12
statistically half the people listening to this have probably you know either been divorced or a product of divorce
27:19
how did that shape your view of marriage the view of divorce kind of how that or
27:25
did it I'm I'm curious oh yeah I mean I I got married at 35 found out what was
27:32
going on at 41 and I filed for divorce at
27:39
41 and I'm 42 now it'll be final s so I
27:46
really wanted to get married when he married and when I filed for divorce I
27:53
was the one that filed right and was crazy right is that I didn't want to do
28:00
it because I didn't want to be another here's the pointny thing right it's not Point truth is that there a lot of
28:06
eights so my parents got divorced in 1988 they started that process I was
28:12
eight I met my stepdaughter AA when she was eight and then my daughter was eight
28:20
when I filed the thing of the theme of eights so in reality what was really
28:26
crazy is that what being from a divorced
28:32
household I was super scared because I didn't want to not be around my daughter
28:37
all the time right I didn't wanna you know know how don't work with my stepdaughter I knew probably G to stay
28:44
close to my to my in-laws and all these things but I looked at I said man you know what life is short right you know
28:51
and my ex and I don't have the same Love Languages right the woman I'm dating now
28:58
she Glenda she's awesome we have the same Love Languages our number ones of physical trust hers is mining that works
29:07
right that can work right are we gonna have conflict yep we're gonna have hard time yep she have to sent me a text
29:13
earlier about a conflict when I something she's struggling with I'm gonna text it back when I'm done tell
29:18
hey look honey it's okay I mean it's fine I me you know I'm not worried about that if all going same page I'm it's all
29:24
the matter but the thing is I didn't want to get divorced I had gone through
29:30
it as a child but now being get side and
29:35
if you're listening to this you're scared about divorce trust then that if
29:41
you heard say he started going down that road they would to save it that's awesome while I was trying to save ours
29:47
or we were trying to save ours and then found out some things during that process stay yeah tried I could so now
29:57
she's wanting to like try to get things back and up like you don't really want
30:03
that you just want the superior being alone that's what she want and that's not what I'm here for I'm no I'm
30:09
nobody's security right so the point is to answer your question specifically yes
30:15
coming from a divorced household was hard for me you know what I want to do
30:21
this but I need to go to to the white flag and I I think you pointed out
30:28
earlier that really the secret to taking that and turning it into something positive or avoiding it would be to do
30:34
what you said which is what you're doing with your current girlfriend having those hard conversations and really being open and honest about you know
30:42
what I how I view marriage or how I view this relationship and how I view long-term commitments my my youngest
30:47
daughter has been through a series of just terrible boyfriends we we didn't like we didn't like any any of them but
30:55
uh which happens but they she she's now dating a a young man that is on you know he seems to be just absolutely perfect
31:02
really similar to how I treat my wife he treats her and but at the same time
31:09
they're starting to have these conversations because they've been dating for a while to say well how do you you know in their early 20s how do
31:16
you view kids how do you view long-term stuff how do you view traditional you know relationships and roles and and all
31:23
those things so awesome so so I think having that is is super important I want to be respectful of your time what if if
31:32
you had the opport you know and you do if you were going to sit back and just talk to the average everyday guy about
31:38
like three or four things to really focus on in in life in order to maximize
31:45
what they're doing in their lives and in the way we put it is to be you know be the best you were made to be what give
31:52
me give me a couple little nuggets there and I know it's very complicated and broader than that but but I'm just trying to get a takeaway and be
31:58
respectful three three three takeaways one if you don't have one hire a coach
32:04
the coach will help you see number two be somebody that's always
32:11
active understanding B Miss listen to understand not to respond three be a man
32:19
ofy and compassion right it's very important end of the day if you're a man
32:25
that's like that for example I had aretta on our podcast great guy he came
32:31
out day a couple years ago and I said you know what DAV I have compassion for
32:36
you that you were holding for so long I'm sympathetic towards you because not
32:41
a fact of the day the fact that I've held things into for so long with like
32:48
how I you my divor I had to kind of keep things to myself for a little bit I don't ever against what happened but I
32:53
had to kind of I couldn't saying because I was going through it I had to hold thing back about you know where I am or
32:58
where I was and with my with my first buiness you know kind of thinking that like when that happened I didn't have a
33:04
chance to talk about going through kind the bankruptcy and trying to go through that process and worry about these
33:10
things and that thing so I've been at points in my life where I've had to hold things back and not talk about because
33:16
it was something that could cause more damage to me Ling on so I said man I'm verye to you in that regard and I'm
33:23
compassionate towards you because it must have been hard for you to de that for 0 years and then come out man look
33:30
man look look for you way to live your life way to be you know this who you are
33:36
that energy pting really helped us because he was like wow really enery
33:42
well and at the end David started asking me some questions and I could tell he was very relaxed he was very much like
33:49
safe to talk and that was you done like 25 minutes right Kevin that was a 48
33:54
just D just kep talking he kept talking so is as a man right don't have a coach
34:01
two be an active understanding based listen that to understand not respond
34:07
and as a man show compassion and show empathy to others if you do that that's
34:13
when great things happen that's just no I I love it we were talking about empathy yesterday with with my wife and
34:20
I think it's something that people you know more people lack now and it's it's
34:26
the the difference between empathy and sympathy the empathy is that I mean it goes as far back as it it can walk a
34:32
mile in someone else's shoes that's it really understand because if you can empathize with someone and really kind
34:38
of put yourself into their position to try to understand because I always talk about everybody has a history so if you
34:44
meet someone that's complete jerk whatever you want to call them there's a story behind that and how they got there
34:51
and what they're facing and and and all of those all of those you know factors and so really really being able to
34:57
empathize and take personal responsibility along the way Marcus I appreciate you how do we find you
35:03
obviously you do coaching and I'm sure you're you're you know well in touch with tons of other coaches as well so uh
35:10
how how would people find you and how would they explore that great question thanks Kevin they can go to Marcus for
35:16
ww. Marcus M Tes
35:23
3360c or our website ww. Marcus m r Ogen
35:30
og.com and connect with us send me an email Marcus
35:35
market.com or to connect with you chat with you we're all about helping people move past challenges move past um
35:43
obstacles to achieve fulfillment and success through our coaching Consulting speaking and of course we also to have
35:50
Kevin the Marcus a app you would go to like your app store or your iPhone or your Google phone or your Samsung have
35:58
you have go to the app type in Marcus aen our app will pop up we have exclusive content on there you can
36:05
follow our podcast and see up what we're doing so again you can go to our app Marcus aen Marcus institute.com or
36:13
marcus.com is our website or to shoot me email Marcus marcus.com that's awesome
36:20
and I'll put those links in the bottom of the show notes as well I'm excited that I follow your podcast now so I'm going to go back and listen to some of
36:27
those I uh you know this podcasting thing is an interesting animal um one of
36:32
the things that it my wife has said is you've gotten to be such a better listener because I I by Nature I'm not a
36:38
great listener so to be able to have these conversations and and honestly the best part for me I'm a small podcaster
36:44
you know and and still trying to grow but to be able to have awesome conversations with people like yourself
36:50
from all across the world is is a real blessing to me so I appreciate you taking the time to do it and uh hey good
36:56
luck I'm be following and just you know point in fact I'll be meeting with my coach this afternoon so good have a good
37:03
have a good talk with him and uh keep pressing forward brother keep moving forward keep moving your yard mark down
37:08
the field and good things will happen all right brother I appreciate it all right if you're looking to really
37:14
maximize your life and become the man you were made to be head over to maxed out man.com and get your journey started
37:25
today



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